July

There are no post I like to write as much as the end-of-month summaries/favorites. Also fave thing to read. (Except for feminist rants, there’s nothing quite like feminist rants.) If it was up to me, it’d be mandatory. Especially the this is the culture I’ve consumed this month part.

This is what I’ve been up to in July.

Listened to

In This Moment! Especially loved this cover of In the Air Tonight, been listening to on repeat repeat repeat, even if the album Ritual as a whole is well worth a listen.

How is Being as an Ocean’s Black & Blue not on Spotify??

One of these days, I’ll learn to love more than their singles. I hope.

I have been listening to Korn a fair bit, but 2 minutes of Fieldy’s biography put a dampener on my obsession. Good news: no longer have any urge what so ever to see this band play. N E V E R going to happen.

Am, however, sulking about having no plans in place to see Architects + Amity Affliction in Hungary on 15 August. I need more Amity in my life.

This remix of Linkin Park’s One More Light:

Should have been the original.

And oh, fave track off of the new Lana del Rey release has got to be 13 Beaches.

Slightly disappointed I’m not really in the mood for Lana because I want to love this record. But I don’t.

Penntricket! You know the feminist pod in Swedish which it makes absolutely no sense what so ever to write about in English? That one. Best episode since the one about hating men; an episode entirely on menstruation! Just missing one thing that they never mentioned: menstruation is a kinda nifty indication of your health. Clue read my mind and did a post on it here. Penntricket talked about menstruation as a life force—Clue compares it to having a pulse, which is closer to the mark I feel. Your menstruation can tell you a lot about your general health, which isn’t mentioned nearly enough. No instead we focus on weight as a measure of health. SIGH.

Watched

Friends from College. Netflix thought I might like it. Netflix was WRONG. Don’t waste your time on it. Really. Don’t.

One More Time with Feeling. There’s a little extra thing on the DVD about boredom where Nick Cave slags off Metallica and assures us it’s OK to be bored. It’s funny.

To the Bone. It’s on Netflix, about a girl with anorexia. I quite liked it. Ending was a bit weird tho.

If I was going to recommend you one short little video to watch from this month, I’d say give this one a watch:

It’s just nice to have someone, anyone at all, say that it’s OK to not do things sometimes. That it doesn’t mean you’re missing out on life, it just means you have other interests and/or priorities.

Vegan things

I started following Peta on Twitter. That would be another reason why I’m a bad vegan; I have not been following Peta.

It’s an excellent reminder if you ever feel you’re starting to lose track of why you’re vegan to begin with. It’s also, frequently, incredibly hard to have them in your feed. They like to be graphic. Multiple posts showing the maltreatment if animals every. single. day.

I used say I’d probably not be vegan for the rest of my life when asked, because I’ve been around long enough to know I change my mind a lot. But if you’d ask me right now the answer is YES. VEGAN. ALWAYS.

Coconut oil. I just remembered just how brilliant coconut oil is. Favorite uses: pancakes + popcorn. Oh the pancakes and popcorn wasted using other fats…

K*ckl*ng. Astrid & Aporna! I hate it when food brands do some vegan products and not all, it’s nonsensical and annoying. Astrid & Aporna is not one of them, they do all vegan. I’m currently loving the fake meat which they excel at, and k*ckl*ng is brilliant for a spicy coconut milk type sauce. Texture is so, so nice.

technically, water is vegan. So let’s stick it in this category; I’ve been loving elder flower water an awful lot. Unfortunately not good for the environment, but hey ho

Changes

Finally found the Twitter setting where you can turn off retweets. Finally! Means I can follow certain people (a.k.a. bitter old men, who are my age, by w/e) who seem to have a need to retweet their entire feed. I appreciate that you’re enthusiastic and all, but, kinda want to be able to see my own feed too, you know?

Still looking for a way to get other people’s likes out of my feed. It’s nice to see it every one in a while, but all of them? All the time? Please no?

It’s not looking good though. (Dear Twitter, HOW IS THIS EVEN A DEFAULT SETTING???) Think I might have found a setting which hides my own likes though? Just because I figure if it annoys me, it might annoy others. I might be a person who clicks the like button too frequently on Twitter. Possibly.

Changed blog layout. As one should every now and again, if for no other reason then so that you don’t forget how to.

Layout of my phone. Because I had to reset it. Because it kept insisting I had no space despite deleting apps + transferring data to my SD card like a crazy person and. it. was not. helping. Also, this comes with the perk of being forced to update all passwords. Supposedly good for you.

Also to be noted: I think it’s Spotify that’s taking up all the space. It says it’s saving to my SD card. But I’ve no reason to believe it. I.e., next phone will not a Sony. It lies to me.

Tried the ACO CC cream. It’s been a while since I tried a new makeup product, which is why this gets a special mention. That and I was quite excited. Not only because it’s been a while, but because the CC cream says it’s a day cream, primer and foundation all rolled into one. Sounds great no!?

I tried it for 2 reasons:

  1. I was out of day cream and wanted to try something new because I can’t quite decide what my skin is like at the moment. This one isn’t for a specific skin type, so that appealed to me.
  2. My current combination of products does not fare well in the heat so I just wanted something else.

It doesn’t exactly do everything it promises. And as far as CC creams go, I’ve had better. But it does work well enough as a replacement for day cream + primer, which reduces my routine by one step so I guess it could be worse.

Monthly menstrual report

I feel like the most regular person ever!?!

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If this keeps up, I will have to learn how to use a menstrual cup. (Please no? I’m old, I can’t be learning new things.)

Next month

Definitely not seeing Korn. Nor Amity or Architects.

Am getting my apartment photographed. Selling prep. Still don’t want to think about moving. I also need to prepare a list of all updates I’ve done since moving in, for tax reasons. Such fun!

I’m also going to start working for a research center. Should appreciate and look forward to. But I don’t.

Keep hoping someone will get me out of it.

Liebster Award #3 .Well. Sorta.

Lise has nominated me for the Liebster Award #3. Thanks love!

I have confession tho. This award business makes me feel…kinda old. I don’t really get it. I get the whole it’s a way to acknowledge blogs you like/follow, and I’m all for that. But it’s like, anything blog-related I don’t recognize from LiveJournal days, it’s just mystery to me.

Did I mention I’m old?

I just find myself asking questions. What do you mean award, who wins!? It doesn’t look like anyone wins, that can’t be right?? What happens if you don’t follow the rules, are you disqualified?? Why do you have to nominate SO MANY people?? What happens when a person is nominated repeatedly?? Who’s in charge of this ship???

Sometimes I wonder if this award business was created by a non-native speaker, not quite familiar with the definition of award. Or maybe someone who just didn’t care? (In which case, congratuwelldone!) Or maybe I’ve just proof-read one too many texts where you can never be too sure that the word used is actually the word that they mean…

I’ve gathered that no one is forcing you to do anything.

It’s my ship and I can do whatever the hell I like.

So here’s what I’m going to do:

I’m going to answer the questions because HELLO free prompts and I like typing + it’s possible this isn’t the busiest day at work ever.

If you had the opportunity to go to one place in the world and stay there forever, where would you go?

So here’s the thing. I’m madly in love with Glasgow. Might have mentioned it before. Once. Or twice. …a few more times…

glasgow outside GSOA
Glasgow. Scott street I think?

To me, it’s the perfect size city, you can walk just about everywhere, and there are some nice places to walk. By the river, parks, the cemetery, just around the city. It’s nice.

Also. All bands play in Glasgow. ALL. + Glasgow audience = the best one.

The selection of vegan places is brilliant. Brilliant! Even if it really only needs Stereo.

I also like the UK in general because being vegan in the UK is easier. It’s also easier to be an alcoholic. Which, I’m kinda undecided whether it’s better or not. I mean I like cheap drinks.

Ginger tea at the Willow Tea Rooms. I just. It’s something that just hits me sometimes. I just love me some ginger at the Willow. I think about it at random.

Museums are free! And there’s a few to go to. I miss having visit to the museum as a weekend activity.

It’s less cold than Sweden, though not hot. Which suits me perfectly. Sure it rains a lot, but do you get blizzards? You do not.

I love Glaswegian. I really do. I might not understand it quite as well as I’d like to, but that’s a minor problem.

There are a few things though. If I was staying forever, what would I be doing for a living? Because I lived outside of Glasgow. And I clearly moved back to Sweden because, as suspected, the job I had was not a keeper. I also suspect that there are few jobs in the UK that offer as much freedom as I currently have. I.e., there’s no dress code, hours are flexible, I have 31 days of paid vacation (35 when I turn 40), I can take time off pretty much any time at all, unions are strong, getting fired is quite difficult, they keep asking you what tasks you want (??), they basically don’t tell you what to do ever. Also, we don’t sell anything. I like it that the organization I work for isn’t trying to rip people off.

But if a decent place to live is provided for, and I don’t have to deal with the admin of life that’s so difficult to understand even in your own language and the country you were born in, then Glasgow.

If not, here is not bad.

What was your childhood dream?

I don’t think I had one? If we’re talking something beyond the My Little Pony castle? Which could be one reason why I seem to be lacking goal and direction in life.

What would be your “ride or die” make up?

Right now, this feels like a v. v. difficult question because I was just thinking about how I’m not overly impressed with the majority of products I’m currently using.

The ones I wouldn’t trade:

Concealer: No7 Instant Radiance Glow concealer
Powder: GOSH prime n’ set
Blush: NYX high definition blush in taupe. Equally important: Real Techniques sculpting brush for application.
Highlighter: Sleek’s Solstice palette.
Eyeshadow: If I could have just one, then H&M’s Sahara Dawn. But if choosing an entire palette, then the MUR Chocolate Vice, bottom row pink shades; current faves. Plus, I can actually bring this palette only when I travel; it has highlight that isn’t crap, the pinks can be used as blush, and there are colors that could be used as eyeliner if in a pinch. It’s got you covered!  makeup revolution chocolate vice
Lipstick: NYX Lip Lingerie in Corset. Perfect pale lip shade in my opinion. Also, necessary reapplication throughout the day; minimal.

I saw someone include perfume, can I include perfume? In that case, Body Shop’s Red Musk. Gawd I loves it.

Types of products I need, but not necessarily the exact one I am using:

Primer: GOSH anti-wrinkle. It is possible it’s gone bad, but it’s currently not doing exactly what I want it to. It’s starting to behave like Body Shop’s wonderblur primer. Didn’t like that one.
Foundation: Lumene matte foundation. Apparently, in the summer, it has some melting issues. Other than that we’ve gotten along fine.
Mascara: H&M Faux-To-Go. Oh I dunno…just seems there should be mascaras with better definition and more volume.
Eyeshadow primer: Urban Decay primer potion. Am I the only one who thinks this primer makes blending a struggle??
Setting spray: NYX matte finish. If my setting spray was better, then maybe my foundation wouldn’t melt? Or is that just wishful thinking?

I don’t need an eyebrow product, but to switch it up sometimes and actually wear brows, some pomade.

If you had your own make up line, what would it be called and which products would you include in it?

I’d team up with H&M, because not even in my dreams am I interested in anything but budget friendly, and it’d be called Antichrist. (Made to create looks inspired by Manson during the Antichrist Superstar area, obviously.)

It’d be a tiny line consisting of:

1 palette including both cheek products and eyeshadows (paper packaging, no mirror, perfect for travel). Colors: dark, red, plum, yellow, pink, slightly metallic finish (except for the yellow, it’d have to be matte), a highlighter that’s a dupe for the Makeup Revolution mono eyeshadow Base, and a taupe blush (matte obvs).

Mascara blacker than deep black (I’m sure it can be done), for sensitive eyes, making your lashes look like spider legs (maybe that would require falsies..? Oh what do I know about makeup really!)

An eyebrow kit consisting of concealer, tiny scissors and tweezers.

Liquid lipsticks in three sickly shades. E.g. pale cool neutral, taupe type shade, darker brown/purple type shade. Matte of course.

What kind of job do you have? Are you happy with it?

I have an office job. There are parts of it I like and there are parts I don’t like. I don’t like that I sometimes have to talk to arrogant students, and ditto uni staff. And sometimes I’m sent texts to proof that just make me want to die (strongly suspecting they’re google translations, trying to save texts like that, it’s mission impossible, desperation sets in and thusly a wish for death).

Bottom line: there are many worse jobs one could have. Not thrilled but not entirely hating it?

Is there anything you would have done differently about your blog if you had the chance to go back to the beginning?

Well no? If I regret something I could just delete it? I just regret that I didn’t start sooner.

What is your favorite season of the year and why?

Autumn! The light is good, colors are nice, it’s not too hot and not too cold.

glasgow university
Autumn. Mmm.

What is your favorite tv series?

Buffy the Vampire Slayer!

..not quite on topic. But any excuse for this video…

Is there anyone who inspires you? Who and in what way?

I think we’ve established 90s Manson is my main makeup inspo. Very tangible inspiration.

Other than that.

Fanny Åström, Lady Dahmer and Maria Sveland inspire me with hope, and make me feel less bad about my angry bitter self. Not that I wouldn’t be without them, they’just make me feel less bad about it. As if I’m using a strategy on purpose.

It’s quite difficult to think of people who inspire you to actually do something. I’m mostly stuck in the admire stage.

 

Is there a flavor you just can’t stand?

Lavender. Lavender should not be in things you eat, it just shouldn’t.

Also floral teas. Who wants to drink flowers??

Oh, and orange flavored chocolate. Best stop now, this list might become v. v. long.

If your blog had a business card, what would your tagline say?

Here’s the thing; my blog would never have a business card because my blog is not interested in any type business. That, and it’s highly unmarketable.

Which is fortunate because taglines, JFC I sorely lack tagline skills.

Rather than tagging 11 people (because who would I tag?? I know not), I want to give you 11 topics I would love someone (anyone else thinking about Anberlin right now? No?) to write a post about:

  1. Your top 3 bands of all time; tell me all about it! And I mean all.
  2. 3 flawless albums; list and explain!
  3. Which feminist book do you want forced on everyone and why?
  4. Actually, I want to repeat Lise’s question What kind of job do you have? Do you like it? Title of post should obvs read either I fucking love my job, or I need to quit you babe.
  5. Top 3 gigs you’ve been to! (What!? I like lists and I’ve got a short attention span soooo…)
  6. Tell me about the most horrible diet you’ve ever been on!
  7. Menstrual story!?! Anything! First period, something related to your period, are you on board with the menstrual cups, ever bleed through anything, contraception because of bad periods—anything! Doesn’t have to be long. Mandatory soundtrack while writing: Into the Menstrual Night I Go.
  8. Tell me about something you think is greatly underrated!
  9. Explain your most recent playlist!
  10. A feminist analysis of [insert book/song/band/genre/WHATEVER here].
  11. A comprehensive list of all feminists you should be following on social media. Because obvious important.

Should a person be allowed to put together posts this level of messy?

Probably not.

Vegan protein banana pancakes

You might have noticed I’m a bit obsessed with pancakes. Tiny bit.

Most recent version was a result of the following:

Watched a video about PCOS. Person in video claimed that if you suffer from PCOS you should count calories for 3 days, because that is knowledge you need. How many cals you consume on a daily basis. My Ed*: Counting calories you say!? We must!

I know this makes no sense. Not only because lousy reason but because:

a) I don’t have PCOS, I have PCO, not the same.
b) Even my PCO status is unclear, currently bleeding approximately every 2 months, highly regular for being me.
c) Nobody needs to count calories ever.

But I’m at a place right now where I’m listening to Ed. I get Lifesum (again) been using (far longer than 3 days).

Lifesum will also show you percentages of carbs, protein and fat.

In general, I strongly believe you don’t need to make special efforts to get protein into your diet if you’re vegan. Who ever heard of anyone dying from protein deficiency around these parts?? Nobody that’s who. It doesn’t happen. Make sure to have some B12 supplements, and iron if you’re struggling with iron uptake, the latter goes for any diet, and you’re good to go!

Despite this, my reaction is 10% protein!? My hair will fall out! Clearly, what I do suffer from is anxiety. And a bad case of unreasonable.

I’m upping my protein like a woman possessed.

Here’s an easy way to pack 20 g of protein into one (vegan) meal:

Find yourself a nice protein powder. My choice: a rice protein, because it doesn’t taste anything. Take 20 g of your protein powder of choice, 30 g flour, 1 tsp baking soda, pinch of salt, 1 banana, 50 g soygurt, if you want a thick batter, if not, use water or any type plant milk instead. Optional: bit of flaxseeds.

You could mix by hand, but I prefer using a blender.

Gives you about 5 small pancakes. And yes, they’re supposed to look like that. I ♥ rustic.

Serve with raspberries sprinkled with a wee bit of ginger, maybe a bit of agave and cinnamon.

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________________
*Ed is a pet name for eating disorder.

When I got my first period

Every once in a while Clue sends out an email asking us for stories relating to our periods. The most recent one asked us to share our stories about our first period.

You needn’t tell me twice! There are few topics I’m more interested in than the menstrual cycle, in general.

Unfortunately this is not going to be a very long story.

I got my first period when I was about ten. I woke up one morning in my favorite panties and there was blood everywhere.

Honestly, what is up with that? Is menstruation is some sort of evil creature that can smell when you’re wearing your favorite underwear and/or when it’s otherwise just really extremely inconvenient? All signs point towards yes.

I would say this is an accurate representation:

sub-buzz-19144-1481196982-4

Anyway…

At the age of 10, no one had informed me about menstruation. I had no idea what the hell was going on and was absolutely convinced I was bleeding to death. I remember that finally realizing I had to tell mum I was dying was such as a struggle.

Dear sweet mum. She responded by giving me a book on the subject. Bit of an odd response but OK. Don’t think we talked about it. If we did, I have absolutely no recollection of it. I got the book, pads, few days off school, and that was the end of it.

Looking back though, I am kinda pissed school couldn’t be bothered telling us about it at an early age. As I’ve learned much later, 10 isn’t a particularly abnormal age to have your first period. But oh no, teaching us something that is actually useful, apparently not in the curriculum.

I’m still holding a grudge. And will until that day one of the many things I frequently imagine is killing me finally does.

Years of torture followed, i.e. pads in the 90s, basically small diapers. Which no doubt contributed to the embarrassment I felt the first few years.

Until I finally learned how to use tampons. I ♥ tampons. I even wrote an essay about how it changed my life. I’m sure my male teacher was absolutely thrilled. So yea, once I finally stopped being embarrassed I had literally no boundaries. Have literally no boundaries. I do enjoy telling anyone and everyone where I am in my cycle. Entered the PMS phase a few days ago. SUCH FUN!

I’m giving my period 2 weeks to turn up; I am not having a repeat of the last cycle where I had PMS for an entire month. One month of nightly sweats, feeling unusually weak, tender breasts and constant hunger. Not when I’ve got Provera. Which, admittedly, I’m not supposed to use that way but I just cannot stand it.

I might have to admit defeat and ask to be prescribed Cerazette again, but I’d rather not.

 

In which I use a nomination to rant about menstruation

 

Lovely Lise has nominated me for the Versatile Blogger Award, and you’re all about to regret it.

Rules:

You have to thank the person who nominated you for this award and provide a link to their blog.

Link the nominees and inform them about their nomination.

Nominate at least 15 bloggers of your choice

Share 7 facts about yourself.

Them rules are structured real weirdly. Also, stating some obvious stuff. I don’t approve.

But no matter! I’m going to use this nomination to rant on my favorite topic: menstruation.

  1. I’m currently on day 68 in my cycle. For me, it’s perfectly normal, having PCO and all.
  2. My last cycle was 46 days, and my period was 7 days long. I wasn’t happy about that. I usually get away with 90–120-day-cycles and 3 days of bleeding.
  3. As I’m growing older, my PMS and my periods are basically growing more unpredicable. SUCH FUN.
  4. Currently, I seem to be on week 4 of PMS. Which doesn’t seem to make sense, who has 4 weeks of PMS?? But it’s either that or I’ve got some sort of serious illness. Which I simply do not believe because I’m prone to hypochondria. Also considered if it could be menopause. Can’t find any evidence that it could be.
  5. If science focused on women’s bodies to any extent, I’m sure there’d be some way to tell if this in fact is PMS; I could take my Provera, have my bleeding and be done with it. But because I doubt it just a tiny bit, I don’t want to take hormones unless absolutely necessary (if it is in fact PMS I will be bleeding eventually); I hear hormones are bad for the environment, and also, if it doesn’t work, I’m going to have my period and feel crap on top of that? I don’t think so! So PLEASE if you have a period go use the Clue app so that we can collect some data and figure this shit out.
  6. Main PMS symptom currently bothering me the most: waking up in a pool of my own sweat. Like what the fuck. It COULD be that my building is just well-heated. I mean it is, because I’m never cold when at home and pretty much anywhere else always. At least I’ve figured out that if I open a window before going to bed and leaving it open just a bit throughout the night + put my hair in a high pony I’m fine. At least so far. It is still winter after all. Not sure what will happen once winter is over…
  7. Other fun PMS symptoms: joint and breast ache, throwing fits of rage about just about anything, you know, phone not starting up quickly enough, someone having moved your salt, painkillers not having the desired effect, in addition to feeling as if you’re running a fever, soar throat, having to go to bed at nine to not wake up still feeling exhausted and furious that you have to get up, HUNGER for ALL THE THINGS (is my doctor SURE I haven’t PCOS, like really??), being constantly reminded that you have ovaries because goddammit, I CAN FEEL THEM, that’s not right. It’s not as if I sit around feeling my liver.

There! I’m sure that’s exactly the type of facts the creator of this award had in mind. And my apologies to Lise too. I dare say, I’ve effectively made sure that I will be nominated again.

If you feel like sharing 7 facts about your period, consider yourself nominated! (Rules? What rules??)

Reading the books; A book about smear tests, menstruation and a bit of cancer

Remember this book?

die ärzte meerschwein annika lantz vad ska en flicka göra

Not the Meerschwein, the normal-sized one, Vad ska en flicka göra? by Annika Lantz.

I’ve finished reading it and I loved it.

This is also a book about cancer, like I kroppen min by Kristian Gidlund, which I mentioned not too long ago. Led to me sort of expecting it to be kind of like Kristian’s book.

Obviously it’s not. In so many ways. This is a different kind of brilliant altogether. Two main differences contributing to the genius of this book:

  • It’s a funny book. Laughing out loud kind of funny. Just ♥♥♥
  • It’s very graphic and describes in detail what happens to the body when you treated for cancer. Horrible and interesting all at once!

I’m not going to lie though, I did struggle a bit at first. The first half of the book is not about her illness at all, it’s about her life as a kid, in general. I’d been told it was about her cancer diagnosis so I was confused. And a bit disappointed. I’m not overly interested in children nor tellings of childhood.

But then she entered puberty and got her period. There’s an entire chapter about menstruation. An entire chapter! On menstruation! Now that’s on my list of interests, right at the very top.

A few of my favorite parts on the subject:

final1487520396402
He squeezed my tender breast and said that it was engorgement. “But she’s sixteen”, mum said, who never struggled with sharing relevant information. “Oh”, the doctor said. “And she’s not breastfeeding, because she hasn’t given birth”, mum said. “Oh”, the doctor said.
final1487520565690
I knew you couldn’t go swimming with a sanitary pad – if for no other reason then that it was the size of a tanker and would sink like a stone the second it started taking in water.
final1487520620954
I’m not going to lie – I didn’t change my sanitary pad. … I usually use a sock these days.

Let’s pause for a minute. Annika has read Liv Strömqvist’s Kunskapens frukt, it’s a graphic novel and I own it. Obviously love it.

However, unlike Annika, I was’t affected by Liv pointing out what a waste of the Earth’s resources sanitary pads are. And how they’re not biodegradable. I don’t even remember this particular part at all.

In my defense, I don’t use sanitary pads but tampons. Which are probably not great either. Really should make sure to get informed on this subject.

See this is another reason I loved this read; it teaches me things and and makes me think. Even though it’s not the point of the book at all. It’s just a happy side-effect.

OK then! Enough side-tracking.

final1487520718670
“But then what is this slime exiting my body attempting to down the neighborhood once a month?”
final1487520757055
… “smear tests are an imprecise instrument” (oh!?!) “they only catch eighty percent.” (OH YOU DON’T SAY!)

…did you know this? I honestly thought smear tests were, well, fool-proof? Maybe I just didn’t read the fine print?

Also. They way she talks about her tumor, it’s brilliant!

final1487520795568
This tumor must be thinking we’re morons the lot of us! How it’s been sitting there giggling while my gynecologist has been directing the ultrasound around my pussy like some sort of conductor.

To avoid confusion, the transducer used for vaginal ultrasound, it ain’t the size of a conductor’s stick. But how I wish it was. One of the many perks of PCO; you get to have a peek at your insides via vaginal ultrasound. Funfunfun! Especially if one of your ovaries is playing hide and seek.

Final words on this book before I manage to get off track again:

If you heard her radio talk back in June, you’ll recognize the topics and large parts of the book. Which is not a bad thing at all. Unlike Kristian, her talk is well worthwhile. Bit like stating the obvious, considering how talking on the radio is her main profession, she should be quite good at it.

She also manages to cover more ground, she goes beyond the cancer, while still managing to give us all the horrible details, by which I’m not saying this is a better book. It’s just different and could well make a difference in your life.

If I was grading it I’d give it top marks: should be translated and required reading for one and all!

I have a lot of questions #1

Should I give the new NIN a chance?

Should I get more shelves for my books? Options: get rid of books, or do some other sort of rearrangement?

Are there really no bands for me to see in 2017??

How do I get out of a dinner at Köttmagasinet (The Meat Storage I guess?) for the head of department next week? WHAT HOW WHY did the other vegan OK this??? Can I lie???

Why is it that ONLY when I’m running dangerously low on tampons I do bleed sans extra hormones? It stopped being funny AGES AGO.

Pea protein – WHY? Does it work with anything??? Least favorite protein powder of ALL TIME.

Travel – skip it this year and prioritize reading?

Minimalist makeup routine – HOW?? I need instructions.

Does a Twilight marathon require wine?

I’ve restarted my computer FOUR TIMES. Why is my home directory still missing??? Moreover, why can’t I save shit from Ladok if it’s missing???

How come not more bands use mailing lists? I’d love emails about when bands are going on tour or putting out a record straight into my inbox. Like Neubauten. They tell me all important things. I’ve signed up for a bunch of other bands. Fat lot of good that’s done.

Related question: how come no gig organizer EVER gets what kind of music I like? Have I ever received a single email about a show I’m actually interested in? NO. And I’ve subscribed and subscribed…

Watched the David Bowie documentary about his last 5 years in life; WHY do they insist on this docu format? A) not a documentary, B) boring people relating boring things. The interview feature, in a studio setting, it’s always a sign of a shit documentary. A L W A Y S. Hör doch damit auf! (My German, it’s so great.)

If I cast Spotify to a TV, why does it not scrobble??

Should I freshen up my hairdye already or hold off a bit longer? Say until I’m doing something?

And people say you stop asking questions as you grow older. It’s simply not true. They’re just of a different nature. And less verbal. Because you already realized ages ago no one has any answers for you; out of evil, ignorance, or plain not fucking caring.

A post on my favorite topic; Provera + menstruation

Here’s something I google on a fairly regular basis: “effect of Provera”. Or different variations thereof.

For the love of me, I cannot remember what it was like last time, or the time before that, or any specific time for that matter.

Not that it’s always the same. Which I’m thinking is part of the problem. Sometimes it makes me bleed, sometimes it doesn’t. But for the sake of argument let’s say that it does.

What I specifically want to know is at what point in time does Provera make you bleed?

I get zero hits from Google. ZERO. Every time.

So this is to make sure that next time I google “effect of Provera” I’ll up right here.

Should work?

This time, I had been pushing my period back. Because

  1. Discovered my prescription actually says every 4 months (i.e. 3 times a year), not every 3 months, which was what me and Herr Doktor discussed. No matter, fine by me.
  2. This 4 month period was up just as I was heading to Scotland, and it seemed less than convenient, since I have a choice. Judging from the way I feel right now, pushing it back was one of the better ideas I’ve had in my life.

Had planned to push it back further still, because I was going away again, but it slipped my mind/suddenly felt as if I needed to bleed. Combination of confusion an irrationality and there you go.

Also couldn’t remember if it had any premenstrual effects.

There is info on Provera online, you know, the usual, fun side effects and such. Oh. And apparently it’s not vegan. I’m going to have to talk to Herr Doktor about that.

Premenstrual effects

  • FAMISHED up until day 10.
  • Felt as if I was completely drained of energy not only up until the last of my pills (day 12), as well as during period itself.

No mood swings (other than what is normal for me), no tenderness, no acne. Old + PCO; clearly working out for me. Unlike the period itself which is just never what I expect it to be anymore and generally feels exactly like having some sort of infection.

I’m only listing “drained of energy” as an effect because I seem to recall a similar feeling from when I was younger and bleeding on a more regular basis (or as I like to call it on a regularly irregular basis). Jury’s still out, but it seems likely.

Period itself, it starts on day 11. 

In case you’re wondering what this Provera business is; it’s basically hormones that you could be prescribed if you’ve been diagnosed with polycystic ovaries (PCO). It’s used to kickstart your period, because apparently, if you don’t bleed out a few times a year you could get abnormal cell growth in your uterus.

If not for that, I would consider this condition a blessing from the gods.

xo,

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Sunday 7

Week started with a few big choices; moving, yes or no? Studying some more, yes or no? I’m going with my favorite answer to the majority of questions: NO. Because I thoroughly enjoy being a negative and bitter old lady. Meanwhile; getting car gets a maybe. Looking into it.

The Amity Affliction released This Could Be Heartbreak on Friday. Found sneak preview of the album on Monday. Managed to listen to it a few times before it was taken down. Boo. They should have left it up, it was excellent advertisement for their Seems Like Forever DVD. Anyway. V.v. catchy record. My fave track is definitely Fight My Regret. Highly recommend giving the record a listen. If for no other reason, so that we can discuss that guitar solo in I Bring the Weather with Me. Is it some sort of…GN’R reference? It just confuses me thoroughly.

So far this year, music has not disappointed me. Quite the opposite. 2017 is going to have a tough time beating this.

Back to work. New office with a new grey desk + black door and I’m a happy camper. + I see this much sky from my window:

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I really don’t ask for much. Best office yet! (Oh God I’ve jinxed it now, haven’t I?) (PS. Blue barracks aren’t going to be there forever, they’re still working on completing this part of the campus.)

Accepted the fact that I can no longer put my makeup on without putting my contacts in first. And even then it’s a struggle to get my eyebrows on straight at ungodly hour in the morning.

As of Tuesday, I’m a Clue Ambassador. 😀 They must have accepted anyone who could bother with filling out the application; but I don’t bloody care. I friggin LOVE Clue. So you know, if you ever feel like talking about menstruation, I’m your gal.

If you don’t know about Clue; it’s a menstruation app you use it to keep track of your cycles. Or in my case; it’s what I use to easily figure out when to take my Provera. If I haven’t bled in approx 90 days I take some Provera to bleed out so that I don’t get abnormal cell growth. Or so my gynecologist tells me.

Visit from sis on Saturday. Went to the stores, bought important things such as much tea, proceeded to drink said tea (one pot each of Irish cream, citrus chai and regular chai; I’m sure you were wondering) while catching up on our fangirl duties, i.e. watched all the videos by the bands on youtube + some Never Mind the Buzzcocks because you cannot be seeing Josh Groban on NMTB too many times.

Been lost in feminist comics all week. Lagging behind on my reading challenge. Oops. Will make sure to get back on track asap. But it’s impossible to resist this reading:

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VISITING AUNT RUTH // There’s so much to do this time of year. I have to send off eighteen cardigans to the church Christmas market. Being in a sewing circle is no easy job. Most people wouldn’t last a day. But I wouldn’t give it up for the world. You see, the sewing circle works as a kind of wall. On the one side: people, including men, kids like you, and morons in general. On the other side: old ladies. Nothing but old ladies! He he he. Did you like the cinnamon rolls? – Yes, thanks aunt Ruth, they were really tasty.

How was your week?

xo,

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Current favorites

recoil architects

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NYX setting spray. No more foundation/BB/CC cream sliding off my face towards lunchtime, it’s going nowhere! Don’t even need an extra dash of powder.

OB tampons. Yes hi, in case you’re new, menstruation is one of my favorite topics. My Provera treatment managed to kick-start my menstruation about a week ago. For reasons unknown I had a different brand of tampons in my bathroom, i.e. not OB. JFC. Not only were they painful to insert (with vaseline!), but, I got up one morning completely confused as to what had happened to my tampon. The string had somehow managed to crawl up inside me. I do not need that at six in the morning. I’m going to be ridiculously loyal to OB from now on. It’s never done that to me. Ever.

No7 Intense Volume waterproof mascara. Ah yes, still loving this mascara. How did I ever get by without a waterproof mascara?

Boots sunscreen. Because if you’re going to go on 2-hour walks, even if it is in the afternoon, you’re going to need some good sun protection.

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Converse. Haven’t owned a pair of Converse for years and years now. Because if you walk a lot you need shoes with some sort of cushioning. But since I am now old and wise, I know the solution to this problem is an insole of the sport variety – I use them in all shoes I can fit them into, because why wouldn’t you? So I thought I’d pull this trick with these shoes too – only Converse is apparently also old and wise – they came with the insole. Extremely happy about that.

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Beans. I go through periods where I just cannot stand another meal with beans, and much prefer fake meats like Quorn; while other periods, beans is the only thing I want. Right now, I want beans for all meals. Currently going through a bag of Pinto beans (I cook the entire bag in one go, divide it into containers and keep in the freezer). Especially loving these beans with rice noodles and lots of roasted green veggies.

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Popcorn. I’m on the verge of a popcorn addiction. I will cut myself off, just going to finish the last of this bag.

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Recoil’s Liquid. Some of my all-time favorite songs are on this record: Breath Control, Want, Last Call for Liquid Courage, and Chrome. I keep looking for music similar to these songs. I’ve exhausted all my resources. Would love any suggestions!

Architects’ All Our Gods Have Abandoned Us. Jag orkar liksom inte hur bra det här bandet är /objektiv åsikt. This record has quickly become one of my favorite records ever. Because 1. the songs seem to belong together, and 2. there are no fillers and, obviously, 3. there isn’t a song on the record that I don’t like. There are surprisingly few records meeting these criteria. Even my favorite record, Tura Satana’s Relief Through Release, has a filler (Negative Creep, Nirvana cover, I like to pretend it’s not there) and the fact that the last track comes with a long silence followed by nonsense, it cannot possibly have made anyone happy ever?

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My home town. We’ve not been getting along brilliantly lately, but give me a grey Saturday morning, when everyone else is still sleeping, and I get the streets all to myself, and I remember why I love this place. I worry that I won’t be staying for much longer tho; best enjoy it while I can.

Love,

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