October at a glance

Listened to

Emma Ruth Rundle. Recent find through the Spotify Release Radar. Release Radar knows me sooo much better than Weekly Discovery.

Kathryn Joseph. I loved Emma Ruth to such an extent I had to go see if there was more like it: hello, Kathyn Joseph. Kathryn is more piano, but definitely a similar sound.

Also similar: Mariam the Believer. Coincidentally released a new album this month:

Bear’s Den. People seem to compare them with Mumford & Sons. Maybe their previous record. I’d say their most recent release is more like somewhere between the Black Queen and Editors. Or like a present day Eurythmics.

Read

Mr Darcy’s Diary by Amanda Grange💕

Simon Amstell’s Help. If you’re familiar with his standup you will like this book, and recognize parts. It’s a short and sweet one. I really liked it. Especially this part:

How was peace finally achieved? The introduction of the vagina flag.

You’re just going to have to listen to (er, read?) it if you want context. 🙂

Watched

This is probably the best haul I’ve watched, ever:

Yes please! Do give me idea on how to be a more conscious shopper! I need more hauls like this.

Linkin Park and friends. You know the remembering Chester Bennington show Linkin Park put on? It was. Confusing. But Oli did good:

Skincare

Current go-to site for all questions about how to use skincare products: Paula’s Choice. Not only has it got all the answers, but satisfactory answers. I.e. skincare is simpler than people like to make it out to be. I trust it completely and it keeps giving me excellent ideas.

Tweaking my AHA and BHA routine. I’ve tried including them both in my night routine (a world of no!), doing one week AHA, followed by a week BHA, which works, but I missed the BHA. So I’m back to AHA in the mornings, BHA in the evenings.

2 new best friends

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The Balm Beach Blush. I ♥ paper packaging. The color is nice obvs (read: perfect for everyday), but if I’m being honest, I did buy it because of the packaging + 30% off.

Blotterazzi. Here’s a realization I’ve made lately: my skin is no longer a fan of powder. No type powder. It’ll have my foundations starting to look cakey around lunchtime (yea yea, I’ve worn my makeup for 6 hours by then but anyway), and I am a bit shinier than I’d like. Adding powder will make things worse, sometimes adding dry patches into the mix. This here is the solution! It’s a blotting sponge, reusable and actually works, so yay!

Food

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Pulled oats! Been wanting to try this lovely fake meat from Finland. I love that it’s made from oats, and by comparison, locally produced; it’s a brilliant idea! And while I really did like it, I would hesitate to buy it again because it is pricey.

Tiny figs. Dunno if this has an official name, but what they are, are tiny, tiny figs. I’ve been loving having them with a cup of tea.

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Ginger chew. I have crowned this the best piece of candy in all of the land. I’m mad about the flavor and the consistency; it’s like a fudge that doesn’t get stuck in your teeth. In addition, it is (apparently??) so satisfying to eat just the one piece. I can have it in the house and not eat all of them right away. This is unheard of!

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Miscellaneous

Gave my hair a trim. I like to wait until my hair is in such bad condition that getting a brush through it is just an impossibility.

Used this nifty guide on how to do it yourself. If you have v. fine hair, like me, and also non-straight; no one can tell if the cutting isn’t straight. Which is the one bonus of this type hair. You can cut it yourself. If you can be bothered. And have pair of sharp scissors.

Spending diet. I’m supposed to be on it. Doing a terrible job.

Still a work in progress:

  • Stop bulking up on things. I am my mother’s daughter; I like to have an extra of most things. Including shoes. (Still looking for an extra pair of my fave Vagabond lace up boots like a fool? You bet!)
  • Stop getting things on sale. I’m talking about things I do want, but maybe don’t need right this very minute. I’m a sucker for the 20% off this weekend only! 
  • Stop getting things as prep for travel. I always feel as if I need things for when I go away, but I suspect that’s not actually true. You can (and probably should) use same old also when traveling. My brain is not entirely on board with this idea.
  • Stop buying food that is not the cheapest. I keep buying more expensive organic products. But also, beans are less expensive than fake meat. I have not stopped buying fake meat. Really should.

I might have to try a different approach.

Kitty cuddles! Spent nearly three weeks with these guys; last few days was the beginning of this month.

I need to find a way to get my hands on a house so that I can fulfill my crazy cat lady destiny.

…not that it’s so much get my hands on a house as being held back by the knowledge that I can’t fix things. Things break in houses and I can’t fix them. When you live in an apartment there’s always someone to call.

Blog find

NotSoQuietGrrl; cruelty-free, vegan, zero waste, skincare—all the good things!

Feminist of the month/year/decade??

It reads: Message to all men worried about feminists hating men: YOU STARTED IT!!

A. Feminists—funniest people there is
B. I ♥ fannyarsinoe (as if you didn’t know)

(Even if her current crusade against people who enjoy skincare seems kinda..misdirected. But I guess there is no such thing as perfection.)

Monthly menstrual report

Clue sent me this insight when my most recent cycle started:

During the time of ovulation, you might be more drawn to symmetrical facial structures and objects.

Er. OK? ..anyone recognize this..? Their source is here, in case anyone’s interested.

Also why? We need research to find out what people find attractive at a particular point in the cycle? Or was that just a for fun type deal? Obvs only annoyed because I’m a big fan of asymmetry, no matter the point in the cycle. (Obvious example of this: I like to move things so that they’re not perfectly aligned. Perfectly aligned makes me insanely uncomfortable.)

September summary

Let’s wrap up September!

Not that I know why I seem to be so damned thrilled about that.

If it was up to me every month would be September. Best month, easy peasy. Weather is on its best behavior, by which I mean it’s less bright, and that alone makes life infinitely easier to deal with.

Rainy and cold you say? Ja?? Is nice! Reasons to stay inside, get some proper clothes on, and I can finally open my blinds.

 

Listened to

Could Architects just take a goddamn break already? New track and I can’t even tell if it’s actually good anymore. I just feel like I have no judgement and love whatever they put out. 100% biased.

So that overshadows the new Alazka release Phoenixthe title track of which is still a favorite:

which is the album I wish was Panik’s comeback record, och alas, a world of no, it was not. To be clear, this is one good album and any band putting this out should be proud.

That damn Architects track also overshadows the new Stray from the Path release Only Death Is Real,

…the new The National Sleep Well Beast

…AND the new Novelists release (Dear all, could you maybe consider spreading it out a little??? I can’t give you the attention you deserve.)

Being as an Ocean though. Being as an Ocean may just be the one that didn’t quite get overshadowed. Because this is exactly the record I wanted them to release, i.e. what they’ve created is finally in sync with my taste. There’s even bit of piano on this record. If I was PMS-ing I would cry.

Current favorite track off of Waiting for the Morning to Come: Thorns.

I’ve also binged Under huden med Kakan Hermansson. To a point where both reading is music is suffering from it.

 

Watched

Have you. Seen Architects. At Reading? How is the sound this good when it’s live??

Yesyes! I know I’m way overdue for a new favorite band. I’ll find one eventually. It’s not looking good though.

 

Read

Naomi Klein’s That Changes Everything. Might have mentioned.

 

Firsts

First Sephora shop ever. Because I needed (apparently??) the plum shade in the Kat von D Shade + light palette. EXACTLY the purple I’ve been looking for, as expected. And speaking of purple…

Dyed hair purple. It’s. It has many advantages. Such as it doesn’t seem to bleed as much as the red dye, goes better with most colors (e.g. cannot stand yellow when my hair is red). But. To be honest. I miss the red.

Adopting a skincare routine. Not a minute too soon some would say. Not my mother tho.

Mom: Are all those bottles yours…?
Me: Yes!
Mom: What was in that package?
Me: MORE!

I wish I was more like my mother; she’s a true minimalist. In that respect. I’m not even sure she has any type face cream.

 

Skincare

I know it’s too soon to talk about favorite skincare products, but, well, it’s my blog and its main purpose has to be space for me to do whatever I want?

Without further ado: madly in love with these guys:

I don’t usually fall madly in love with Body Shop products, but this camomile cleanser and vitamin E serum-in-oil are just so lovely!

 

Food

Made this excellent warm salad (it’s what we call “bowls” in Sweden) the other day, out of necessity: beets roasted in wasabi sesame and olive oil + kale, raw cabbage and vegan roasted garlic mayo, black beans and a really nice bulgur. Which I’ve already managed to make a weekly staple. And it was pretty too. And there was a picture. Which I then proceeded to lose (???).

I’ll give you this ginger shot instead:

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And because I live in fear of being mistaken for a healthy person: I don’t take it as a shot, I mix it with my water. Because I am obsessed with the that ginger bite.

Monthly menstrual report

Congratulations all speakers of Swedish! You can enjoy this fabulous video-taped podcast:

30 minutes menstruation + birth related bleeding💕 💕 💕

Another good thing about this month: no menstruation for me! I told you it was good.

……………………
This has been an Endless Blog Challenge post.

August wrap up

Listened to

Music has to stop. There are too many good new releases. This month we were treated to:

New Pvris track Winter. Best one so far!? The album is lovely too of course.

New Alazka track Ghost. Again, best one so far!? Previous ones, not bad. So looking forward to the album release, which, by the way, is tomorrow.

Brilliant new Foxblood release, Bittersweet:

This alternate version of Xcert’s Feels Like Falling in Love I’m absolutely mad about. Melancholy with a Thåström-type piano. (A fave type of piano playing, because I ♥ simple. You may want to compare and contrast with Thåström’s Sönder Boulevard btw, it’s a fun little exercise.)

Happy Spotify is keeping me up to date? Not sure.

As if that wasn’t enough. Suddenly learned to love Stray from the Path. So I like hardcore now???

Watched

This quite recent NIN show:

Had an epiphany. Or. It made me realize that Korn’s current setlist does makes sense. (Wasn’t entirely sure in this here post.) Because, Korn playing the entire of The Serenity of Suffering, (which is what I would like) would be like NIN playing all of their most recent release forsaking all others. That wouldn’t be great.

Also. WHY did I bother with Korn when there’s NIN? (The answer is of course Jonathan Davis, but never mind…)

…I’m just hoping no one who was ever in NIN will ever release a biography. Ever. Because I suspect they were/are no better than Fieldy. And if any of them already did, don’t tell me, I don’t want to know.

Oh my god I’m off track now, let’s get to the point already: How have I still not seen this band live??? There has to be something wrong with me. Need Europe dates asap!

Meanwhile. Amity Affliction + Casey + Alazka and Architects all have tour dates coming up. How to choose???

If we could just get back to the watching theme of this section…

YouTube finally recommended me Jamie Genevieve. Because how else does one find anything? Been binge watching like a madwoman.

She makes me want to make an actual effort when putting on makeup + buy all the things. So. Good and bad all at the same time.

American Gods. Got the DVDs because I couldn’t figure out how to stream in Sweden. (Other countries yes, Sweden no.) It’s…do we like this??

 

Twitter was great

Imagine it’s 1992 and Axl Rose tweets this about Metallica/James Hetfield:

That should give you some idea of the position Amity Affliction + Architects hold in my universe, and explain why I find this tweet insanely entertaining. Because Axl Rose would never ever have said this about Metallica, or vice versa, even if there had been a Twitter in 1992.

A favorite from Muralgranskaren:

English: This, my brothers, is in Truth Black Metal-Singing.

(And yes, it is weird use of language in Swedish too.)

Just one more! My fave feminist:

English: Humanism—when you want to make yourself look like a nice person but not change anything.

And. Nobody missed SamArchitects doing the right thing, as per usual, right?

Basically. Architects just keep making everyone else look really bad. Have I mentioned lately that I love this band? L O V E.

But seriously. If this wasn’t in your feed, there is something very wrong with your feed. Hell, Stylist Magazine tweeted about it. Lord knows why, but they did.

 

Reading

If you haven’t read Roxane Gay’s Hunger yet you need to get to it!

 

Rediscovered

The shade Maple in the kinda horrible Sleek Ultra Mattes V2 palette. It looks like it should be brown/orange, but on me it’s definitely 100% a red/pink bruise type shade. And it’s amazing. The shade Thunder is also not bad. Excellent crease color for blue looks.

20,000 days on Earth. I usually love the Nick Cave documentaries, this one just didn’t speak to me at all. Until now.

 

Using

Urtekram lotion that smells like rosemary. It doesn’t sound too exciting but I love this scent.

 

Monthly menstrual report

Menstrual cup research, this one’s great if you feel like you want some encouragement:

Unfortunately, I then went on to watch a few less positive videos. Currently unsure that a menstrual cup would work for me. Because:

a. Cannot find my cervix for the life of me.
b. Cannot be having something that might be pushing on my bladder because if I pee anymore frequently, I may as well move into the bathroom. All liquids seem to just go straight through me. (Unless I drink too much tea. Can’t be it?)

Good news: stopped being regular sooo there is hope yet I won’t have to resort to the menstrual cup!?

And in the event I’m back to regular, I’ll just refer to this Tweet:

English: The menstrual cup is great and all, but could people stop making women’s bodily functions seem like environmental problems?

Unlikely though. My period was especially sneaky and difficult to predict this month. None of the usual symptoms and random point in time. Not that it matters much, it was of the light flow variety, so not really something worth spending this many words on. Probably. I ♥ talking menstruation tho. So. Ja.

 

Reminder

Don’t get cats, they die on you.

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A short note on false lashes

Being in my mid 30s, I kinda feel it is too late to learn how to use a menstrual cup. I’ve mentioned this before. Probably more than once. Most recently in an exchange with hitherdither.

Also me: ..sooooo…false eyelashes. About time I learned how to use them?

My priorities are not right. They are wrong. I know this. I’m just choosing to not act on it.

I might have tried false lashes once before. In the 90s. I want to say false lashes weren’t very good then. But probably, more than anything, I didn’t have a clue how to get them on, and Internet wasn’t particularly helpful back then.

Unless you were looking for Sex Pistols pics. I do recall there being quite a few. Sid Vicious/Nancy Spungen obsession…

Anyway.

Fortunately. My sensitive eyes don’t particularly seem to agree with these:

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It might be the practicing to get them on right that my eye is reacting on, I’ll give them another few tries, but it’s not looking great.

The point of this post? I like stories about failure and irrationality. I just do. So that’s what I write.

I am willing to try false lashes, but not a menstrual cup. That’s just great.

In my defense, my period is officially late.

…or it would be. If it was in the habit of being regular. I guess it got bored of being regular. Suits me well.

July

There are no post I like to write as much as the end-of-month summaries/favorites. Also fave thing to read. (Except for feminist rants, there’s nothing quite like feminist rants.) If it was up to me, it’d be mandatory. Especially the this is the culture I’ve consumed this month part.

This is what I’ve been up to in July.

Listened to

In This Moment! Especially loved this cover of In the Air Tonight, been listening to on repeat repeat repeat, even if the album Ritual as a whole is well worth a listen.

How is Being as an Ocean’s Black & Blue not on Spotify??

One of these days, I’ll learn to love more than their singles. I hope.

I have been listening to Korn a fair bit, but 2 minutes of Fieldy’s biography put a dampener on my obsession. Good news: no longer have any urge what so ever to see this band play. N E V E R going to happen.

Am, however, sulking about having no plans in place to see Architects + Amity Affliction in Hungary on 15 August. I need more Amity in my life.

This remix of Linkin Park’s One More Light:

Should have been the original.

And oh, fave track off of the new Lana del Rey release has got to be 13 Beaches.

Slightly disappointed I’m not really in the mood for Lana because I want to love this record. But I don’t.

Penntricket! You know the feminist pod in Swedish which it makes absolutely no sense what so ever to write about in English? That one. Best episode since the one about hating men; an episode entirely on menstruation! Just missing one thing that they never mentioned: menstruation is a kinda nifty indication of your health. Clue read my mind and did a post on it here. Penntricket talked about menstruation as a life force—Clue compares it to having a pulse, which is closer to the mark I feel. Your menstruation can tell you a lot about your general health, which isn’t mentioned nearly enough. No instead we focus on weight as a measure of health. SIGH.

Watched

Friends from College. Netflix thought I might like it. Netflix was WRONG. Don’t waste your time on it. Really. Don’t.

One More Time with Feeling. There’s a little extra thing on the DVD about boredom where Nick Cave slags off Metallica and assures us it’s OK to be bored. It’s funny.

To the Bone. It’s on Netflix, about a girl with anorexia. I quite liked it. Ending was a bit weird tho.

If I was going to recommend you one short little video to watch from this month, I’d say give this one a watch:

It’s just nice to have someone, anyone at all, say that it’s OK to not do things sometimes. That it doesn’t mean you’re missing out on life, it just means you have other interests and/or priorities.

Vegan things

I started following Peta on Twitter. That would be another reason why I’m a bad vegan; I have not been following Peta.

It’s an excellent reminder if you ever feel you’re starting to lose track of why you’re vegan to begin with. It’s also, frequently, incredibly hard to have them in your feed. They like to be graphic. Multiple posts showing the maltreatment if animals every. single. day.

I used say I’d probably not be vegan for the rest of my life when asked, because I’ve been around long enough to know I change my mind a lot. But if you’d ask me right now the answer is YES. VEGAN. ALWAYS.

Coconut oil. I just remembered just how brilliant coconut oil is. Favorite uses: pancakes + popcorn. Oh the pancakes and popcorn wasted using other fats…

K*ckl*ng. Astrid & Aporna! I hate it when food brands do some vegan products and not all, it’s nonsensical and annoying. Astrid & Aporna is not one of them, they do all vegan. I’m currently loving the fake meat which they excel at, and k*ckl*ng is brilliant for a spicy coconut milk type sauce. Texture is so, so nice.

technically, water is vegan. So let’s stick it in this category; I’ve been loving elder flower water an awful lot. Unfortunately not good for the environment, but hey ho

Changes

Finally found the Twitter setting where you can turn off retweets. Finally! Means I can follow certain people (a.k.a. bitter old men, who are my age, by w/e) who seem to have a need to retweet their entire feed. I appreciate that you’re enthusiastic and all, but, kinda want to be able to see my own feed too, you know?

Still looking for a way to get other people’s likes out of my feed. It’s nice to see it every one in a while, but all of them? All the time? Please no?

It’s not looking good though. (Dear Twitter, HOW IS THIS EVEN A DEFAULT SETTING???) Think I might have found a setting which hides my own likes though? Just because I figure if it annoys me, it might annoy others. I might be a person who clicks the like button too frequently on Twitter. Possibly.

Changed blog layout. As one should every now and again, if for no other reason then so that you don’t forget how to.

Layout of my phone. Because I had to reset it. Because it kept insisting I had no space despite deleting apps + transferring data to my SD card like a crazy person and. it. was not. helping. Also, this comes with the perk of being forced to update all passwords. Supposedly good for you.

Also to be noted: I think it’s Spotify that’s taking up all the space. It says it’s saving to my SD card. But I’ve no reason to believe it. I.e., next phone will not a Sony. It lies to me.

Tried the ACO CC cream. It’s been a while since I tried a new makeup product, which is why this gets a special mention. That and I was quite excited. Not only because it’s been a while, but because the CC cream says it’s a day cream, primer and foundation all rolled into one. Sounds great no!?

I tried it for 2 reasons:

  1. I was out of day cream and wanted to try something new because I can’t quite decide what my skin is like at the moment. This one isn’t for a specific skin type, so that appealed to me.
  2. My current combination of products does not fare well in the heat so I just wanted something else.

It doesn’t exactly do everything it promises. And as far as CC creams go, I’ve had better. But it does work well enough as a replacement for day cream + primer, which reduces my routine by one step so I guess it could be worse.

Monthly menstrual report

I feel like the most regular person ever!?!

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If this keeps up, I will have to learn how to use a menstrual cup. (Please no? I’m old, I can’t be learning new things.)

Next month

Definitely not seeing Korn. Nor Amity or Architects.

Am getting my apartment photographed. Selling prep. Still don’t want to think about moving. I also need to prepare a list of all updates I’ve done since moving in, for tax reasons. Such fun!

I’m also going to start working for a research center. Should appreciate and look forward to. But I don’t.

Keep hoping someone will get me out of it.

Liebster Award #3 .Well. Sorta.

Lise has nominated me for the Liebster Award #3. Thanks love!

I have confession tho. This award business makes me feel…kinda old. I don’t really get it. I get the whole it’s a way to acknowledge blogs you like/follow, and I’m all for that. But it’s like, anything blog-related I don’t recognize from LiveJournal days, it’s just mystery to me.

Did I mention I’m old?

I just find myself asking questions. What do you mean award, who wins!? It doesn’t look like anyone wins, that can’t be right?? What happens if you don’t follow the rules, are you disqualified?? Why do you have to nominate SO MANY people?? What happens when a person is nominated repeatedly?? Who’s in charge of this ship???

Sometimes I wonder if this award business was created by a non-native speaker, not quite familiar with the definition of award. Or maybe someone who just didn’t care? (In which case, congratuwelldone!) Or maybe I’ve just proof-read one too many texts where you can never be too sure that the word used is actually the word that they mean…

I’ve gathered that no one is forcing you to do anything.

It’s my ship and I can do whatever the hell I like.

So here’s what I’m going to do:

I’m going to answer the questions because HELLO free prompts and I like typing + it’s possible this isn’t the busiest day at work ever.

If you had the opportunity to go to one place in the world and stay there forever, where would you go?

So here’s the thing. I’m madly in love with Glasgow. Might have mentioned it before. Once. Or twice. …a few more times…

glasgow outside GSOA
Glasgow. Scott street I think?

To me, it’s the perfect size city, you can walk just about everywhere, and there are some nice places to walk. By the river, parks, the cemetery, just around the city. It’s nice.

Also. All bands play in Glasgow. ALL. + Glasgow audience = the best one.

The selection of vegan places is brilliant. Brilliant! Even if it really only needs Stereo.

I also like the UK in general because being vegan in the UK is easier. It’s also easier to be an alcoholic. Which, I’m kinda undecided whether it’s better or not. I mean I like cheap drinks.

Ginger tea at the Willow Tea Rooms. I just. It’s something that just hits me sometimes. I just love me some ginger at the Willow. I think about it at random.

Museums are free! And there’s a few to go to. I miss having visit to the museum as a weekend activity.

It’s less cold than Sweden, though not hot. Which suits me perfectly. Sure it rains a lot, but do you get blizzards? You do not.

I love Glaswegian. I really do. I might not understand it quite as well as I’d like to, but that’s a minor problem.

There are a few things though. If I was staying forever, what would I be doing for a living? Because I lived outside of Glasgow. And I clearly moved back to Sweden because, as suspected, the job I had was not a keeper. I also suspect that there are few jobs in the UK that offer as much freedom as I currently have. I.e., there’s no dress code, hours are flexible, I have 31 days of paid vacation (35 when I turn 40), I can take time off pretty much any time at all, unions are strong, getting fired is quite difficult, they keep asking you what tasks you want (??), they basically don’t tell you what to do ever. Also, we don’t sell anything. I like it that the organization I work for isn’t trying to rip people off.

But if a decent place to live is provided for, and I don’t have to deal with the admin of life that’s so difficult to understand even in your own language and the country you were born in, then Glasgow.

If not, here is not bad.

What was your childhood dream?

I don’t think I had one? If we’re talking something beyond the My Little Pony castle? Which could be one reason why I seem to be lacking goal and direction in life.

What would be your “ride or die” make up?

Right now, this feels like a v. v. difficult question because I was just thinking about how I’m not overly impressed with the majority of products I’m currently using.

The ones I wouldn’t trade:

Concealer: No7 Instant Radiance Glow concealer
Powder: GOSH prime n’ set
Blush: NYX high definition blush in taupe. Equally important: Real Techniques sculpting brush for application.
Highlighter: Sleek’s Solstice palette.
Eyeshadow: If I could have just one, then H&M’s Sahara Dawn. But if choosing an entire palette, then the MUR Chocolate Vice, bottom row pink shades; current faves. Plus, I can actually bring this palette only when I travel; it has highlight that isn’t crap, the pinks can be used as blush, and there are colors that could be used as eyeliner if in a pinch. It’s got you covered!  makeup revolution chocolate vice
Lipstick: NYX Lip Lingerie in Corset. Perfect pale lip shade in my opinion. Also, necessary reapplication throughout the day; minimal.

I saw someone include perfume, can I include perfume? In that case, Body Shop’s Red Musk. Gawd I loves it.

Types of products I need, but not necessarily the exact one I am using:

Primer: GOSH anti-wrinkle. It is possible it’s gone bad, but it’s currently not doing exactly what I want it to. It’s starting to behave like Body Shop’s wonderblur primer. Didn’t like that one.
Foundation: Lumene matte foundation. Apparently, in the summer, it has some melting issues. Other than that we’ve gotten along fine.
Mascara: H&M Faux-To-Go. Oh I dunno…just seems there should be mascaras with better definition and more volume.
Eyeshadow primer: Urban Decay primer potion. Am I the only one who thinks this primer makes blending a struggle??
Setting spray: NYX matte finish. If my setting spray was better, then maybe my foundation wouldn’t melt? Or is that just wishful thinking?

I don’t need an eyebrow product, but to switch it up sometimes and actually wear brows, some pomade.

If you had your own make up line, what would it be called and which products would you include in it?

I’d team up with H&M, because not even in my dreams am I interested in anything but budget friendly, and it’d be called Antichrist. (Made to create looks inspired by Manson during the Antichrist Superstar area, obviously.)

It’d be a tiny line consisting of:

1 palette including both cheek products and eyeshadows (paper packaging, no mirror, perfect for travel). Colors: dark, red, plum, yellow, pink, slightly metallic finish (except for the yellow, it’d have to be matte), a highlighter that’s a dupe for the Makeup Revolution mono eyeshadow Base, and a taupe blush (matte obvs).

Mascara blacker than deep black (I’m sure it can be done), for sensitive eyes, making your lashes look like spider legs (maybe that would require falsies..? Oh what do I know about makeup really!)

An eyebrow kit consisting of concealer, tiny scissors and tweezers.

Liquid lipsticks in three sickly shades. E.g. pale cool neutral, taupe type shade, darker brown/purple type shade. Matte of course.

What kind of job do you have? Are you happy with it?

I have an office job. There are parts of it I like and there are parts I don’t like. I don’t like that I sometimes have to talk to arrogant students, and ditto uni staff. And sometimes I’m sent texts to proof that just make me want to die (strongly suspecting they’re google translations, trying to save texts like that, it’s mission impossible, desperation sets in and thusly a wish for death).

Bottom line: there are many worse jobs one could have. Not thrilled but not entirely hating it?

Is there anything you would have done differently about your blog if you had the chance to go back to the beginning?

Well no? If I regret something I could just delete it? I just regret that I didn’t start sooner.

What is your favorite season of the year and why?

Autumn! The light is good, colors are nice, it’s not too hot and not too cold.

glasgow university
Autumn. Mmm.

What is your favorite tv series?

Buffy the Vampire Slayer!

..not quite on topic. But any excuse for this video…

Is there anyone who inspires you? Who and in what way?

I think we’ve established 90s Manson is my main makeup inspo. Very tangible inspiration.

Other than that.

Fanny Åström, Lady Dahmer and Maria Sveland inspire me with hope, and make me feel less bad about my angry bitter self. Not that I wouldn’t be without them, they’just make me feel less bad about it. As if I’m using a strategy on purpose.

It’s quite difficult to think of people who inspire you to actually do something. I’m mostly stuck in the admire stage.

 

Is there a flavor you just can’t stand?

Lavender. Lavender should not be in things you eat, it just shouldn’t.

Also floral teas. Who wants to drink flowers??

Oh, and orange flavored chocolate. Best stop now, this list might become v. v. long.

If your blog had a business card, what would your tagline say?

Here’s the thing; my blog would never have a business card because my blog is not interested in any type business. That, and it’s highly unmarketable.

Which is fortunate because taglines, JFC I sorely lack tagline skills.

Rather than tagging 11 people (because who would I tag?? I know not), I want to give you 11 topics I would love someone (anyone else thinking about Anberlin right now? No?) to write a post about:

  1. Your top 3 bands of all time; tell me all about it! And I mean all.
  2. 3 flawless albums; list and explain!
  3. Which feminist book do you want forced on everyone and why?
  4. Actually, I want to repeat Lise’s question What kind of job do you have? Do you like it? Title of post should obvs read either I fucking love my job, or I need to quit you babe.
  5. Top 3 gigs you’ve been to! (What!? I like lists and I’ve got a short attention span soooo…)
  6. Tell me about the most horrible diet you’ve ever been on!
  7. Menstrual story!?! Anything! First period, something related to your period, are you on board with the menstrual cups, ever bleed through anything, contraception because of bad periods—anything! Doesn’t have to be long. Mandatory soundtrack while writing: Into the Menstrual Night I Go.
  8. Tell me about something you think is greatly underrated!
  9. Explain your most recent playlist!
  10. A feminist analysis of [insert book/song/band/genre/WHATEVER here].
  11. A comprehensive list of all feminists you should be following on social media. Because obvious important.

Should a person be allowed to put together posts this level of messy?

Probably not.

Vegan protein banana pancakes

You might have noticed I’m a bit obsessed with pancakes. Tiny bit.

Most recent version was a result of the following:

Watched a video about PCOS. Person in video claimed that if you suffer from PCOS you should count calories for 3 days, because that is knowledge you need. How many cals you consume on a daily basis. My Ed*: Counting calories you say!? We must!

I know this makes no sense. Not only because lousy reason but because:

a) I don’t have PCOS, I have PCO, not the same.
b) Even my PCO status is unclear, currently bleeding approximately every 2 months, highly regular for being me.
c) Nobody needs to count calories ever.

But I’m at a place right now where I’m listening to Ed. I get Lifesum (again) been using (far longer than 3 days).

Lifesum will also show you percentages of carbs, protein and fat.

In general, I strongly believe you don’t need to make special efforts to get protein into your diet if you’re vegan. Who ever heard of anyone dying from protein deficiency around these parts?? Nobody that’s who. It doesn’t happen. Make sure to have some B12 supplements, and iron if you’re struggling with iron uptake, the latter goes for any diet, and you’re good to go!

Despite this, my reaction is 10% protein!? My hair will fall out! Clearly, what I do suffer from is anxiety. And a bad case of unreasonable.

I’m upping my protein like a woman possessed.

Here’s an easy way to pack 20 g of protein into one (vegan) meal:

Find yourself a nice protein powder. My choice: a rice protein, because it doesn’t taste anything. Take 20 g of your protein powder of choice, 30 g flour, 1 tsp baking soda, pinch of salt, 1 banana, 50 g soygurt, if you want a thick batter, if not, use water or any type plant milk instead. Optional: bit of flaxseeds.

You could mix by hand, but I prefer using a blender.

Gives you about 5 small pancakes. And yes, they’re supposed to look like that. I ♥ rustic.

Serve with raspberries sprinkled with a wee bit of ginger, maybe a bit of agave and cinnamon.

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________________
*Ed is a pet name for eating disorder.

When I got my first period

Every once in a while Clue sends out an email asking us for stories relating to our periods. The most recent one asked us to share our stories about our first period.

You needn’t tell me twice! There are few topics I’m more interested in than the menstrual cycle, in general.

Unfortunately this is not going to be a very long story.

I got my first period when I was about ten. I woke up one morning in my favorite panties and there was blood everywhere.

Honestly, what is up with that? Is menstruation is some sort of evil creature that can smell when you’re wearing your favorite underwear and/or when it’s otherwise just really extremely inconvenient? All signs point towards yes.

I would say this is an accurate representation:

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Anyway…

At the age of 10, no one had informed me about menstruation. I had no idea what the hell was going on and was absolutely convinced I was bleeding to death. I remember that finally realizing I had to tell mum I was dying was such as a struggle.

Dear sweet mum. She responded by giving me a book on the subject. Bit of an odd response but OK. Don’t think we talked about it. If we did, I have absolutely no recollection of it. I got the book, pads, few days off school, and that was the end of it.

Looking back though, I am kinda pissed school couldn’t be bothered telling us about it at an early age. As I’ve learned much later, 10 isn’t a particularly abnormal age to have your first period. But oh no, teaching us something that is actually useful, apparently not in the curriculum.

I’m still holding a grudge. And will until that day one of the many things I frequently imagine is killing me finally does.

Years of torture followed, i.e. pads in the 90s, basically small diapers. Which no doubt contributed to the embarrassment I felt the first few years.

Until I finally learned how to use tampons. I ♥ tampons. I even wrote an essay about how it changed my life. I’m sure my male teacher was absolutely thrilled. So yea, once I finally stopped being embarrassed I had literally no boundaries. Have literally no boundaries. I do enjoy telling anyone and everyone where I am in my cycle. Entered the PMS phase a few days ago. SUCH FUN!

I’m giving my period 2 weeks to turn up; I am not having a repeat of the last cycle where I had PMS for an entire month. One month of nightly sweats, feeling unusually weak, tender breasts and constant hunger. Not when I’ve got Provera. Which, admittedly, I’m not supposed to use that way but I just cannot stand it.

I might have to admit defeat and ask to be prescribed Cerazette again, but I’d rather not.

 

In which I use a nomination to rant about menstruation

 

Lovely Lise has nominated me for the Versatile Blogger Award, and you’re all about to regret it.

Rules:

You have to thank the person who nominated you for this award and provide a link to their blog.

Link the nominees and inform them about their nomination.

Nominate at least 15 bloggers of your choice

Share 7 facts about yourself.

Them rules are structured real weirdly. Also, stating some obvious stuff. I don’t approve.

But no matter! I’m going to use this nomination to rant on my favorite topic: menstruation.

  1. I’m currently on day 68 in my cycle. For me, it’s perfectly normal, having PCO and all.
  2. My last cycle was 46 days, and my period was 7 days long. I wasn’t happy about that. I usually get away with 90–120-day-cycles and 3 days of bleeding.
  3. As I’m growing older, my PMS and my periods are basically growing more unpredicable. SUCH FUN.
  4. Currently, I seem to be on week 4 of PMS. Which doesn’t seem to make sense, who has 4 weeks of PMS?? But it’s either that or I’ve got some sort of serious illness. Which I simply do not believe because I’m prone to hypochondria. Also considered if it could be menopause. Can’t find any evidence that it could be.
  5. If science focused on women’s bodies to any extent, I’m sure there’d be some way to tell if this in fact is PMS; I could take my Provera, have my bleeding and be done with it. But because I doubt it just a tiny bit, I don’t want to take hormones unless absolutely necessary (if it is in fact PMS I will be bleeding eventually); I hear hormones are bad for the environment, and also, if it doesn’t work, I’m going to have my period and feel crap on top of that? I don’t think so! So PLEASE if you have a period go use the Clue app so that we can collect some data and figure this shit out.
  6. Main PMS symptom currently bothering me the most: waking up in a pool of my own sweat. Like what the fuck. It COULD be that my building is just well-heated. I mean it is, because I’m never cold when at home and pretty much anywhere else always. At least I’ve figured out that if I open a window before going to bed and leaving it open just a bit throughout the night + put my hair in a high pony I’m fine. At least so far. It is still winter after all. Not sure what will happen once winter is over…
  7. Other fun PMS symptoms: joint and breast ache, throwing fits of rage about just about anything, you know, phone not starting up quickly enough, someone having moved your salt, painkillers not having the desired effect, in addition to feeling as if you’re running a fever, soar throat, having to go to bed at nine to not wake up still feeling exhausted and furious that you have to get up, HUNGER for ALL THE THINGS (is my doctor SURE I haven’t PCOS, like really??), being constantly reminded that you have ovaries because goddammit, I CAN FEEL THEM, that’s not right. It’s not as if I sit around feeling my liver.

There! I’m sure that’s exactly the type of facts the creator of this award had in mind. And my apologies to Lise too. I dare say, I’ve effectively made sure that I will be nominated again.

If you feel like sharing 7 facts about your period, consider yourself nominated! (Rules? What rules??)

Reading the books; A book about smear tests, menstruation and a bit of cancer

Remember this book?

die ärzte meerschwein annika lantz vad ska en flicka göra

Not the Meerschwein, the normal-sized one, Vad ska en flicka göra? by Annika Lantz.

I’ve finished reading it and I loved it.

This is also a book about cancer, like I kroppen min by Kristian Gidlund, which I mentioned not too long ago. Led to me sort of expecting it to be kind of like Kristian’s book.

Obviously it’s not. In so many ways. This is a different kind of brilliant altogether. Two main differences contributing to the genius of this book:

  • It’s a funny book. Laughing out loud kind of funny. Just ♥♥♥
  • It’s very graphic and describes in detail what happens to the body when you treated for cancer. Horrible and interesting all at once!

I’m not going to lie though, I did struggle a bit at first. The first half of the book is not about her illness at all, it’s about her life as a kid, in general. I’d been told it was about her cancer diagnosis so I was confused. And a bit disappointed. I’m not overly interested in children nor tellings of childhood.

But then she entered puberty and got her period. There’s an entire chapter about menstruation. An entire chapter! On menstruation! Now that’s on my list of interests, right at the very top.

A few of my favorite parts on the subject:

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He squeezed my tender breast and said that it was engorgement. “But she’s sixteen”, mum said, who never struggled with sharing relevant information. “Oh”, the doctor said. “And she’s not breastfeeding, because she hasn’t given birth”, mum said. “Oh”, the doctor said.
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I knew you couldn’t go swimming with a sanitary pad – if for no other reason then that it was the size of a tanker and would sink like a stone the second it started taking in water.
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I’m not going to lie – I didn’t change my sanitary pad. … I usually use a sock these days.

Let’s pause for a minute. Annika has read Liv Strömqvist’s Kunskapens frukt, it’s a graphic novel and I own it. Obviously love it.

However, unlike Annika, I was’t affected by Liv pointing out what a waste of the Earth’s resources sanitary pads are. And how they’re not biodegradable. I don’t even remember this particular part at all.

In my defense, I don’t use sanitary pads but tampons. Which are probably not great either. Really should make sure to get informed on this subject.

See this is another reason I loved this read; it teaches me things and and makes me think. Even though it’s not the point of the book at all. It’s just a happy side-effect.

OK then! Enough side-tracking.

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“But then what is this slime exiting my body attempting to down the neighborhood once a month?”
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… “smear tests are an imprecise instrument” (oh!?!) “they only catch eighty percent.” (OH YOU DON’T SAY!)

…did you know this? I honestly thought smear tests were, well, fool-proof? Maybe I just didn’t read the fine print?

Also. They way she talks about her tumor, it’s brilliant!

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This tumor must be thinking we’re morons the lot of us! How it’s been sitting there giggling while my gynecologist has been directing the ultrasound around my pussy like some sort of conductor.

To avoid confusion, the transducer used for vaginal ultrasound, it ain’t the size of a conductor’s stick. But how I wish it was. One of the many perks of PCO; you get to have a peek at your insides via vaginal ultrasound. Funfunfun! Especially if one of your ovaries is playing hide and seek.

Final words on this book before I manage to get off track again:

If you heard her radio talk back in June, you’ll recognize the topics and large parts of the book. Which is not a bad thing at all. Unlike Kristian, her talk is well worthwhile. Bit like stating the obvious, considering how talking on the radio is her main profession, she should be quite good at it.

She also manages to cover more ground, she goes beyond the cancer, while still managing to give us all the horrible details, by which I’m not saying this is a better book. It’s just different and could well make a difference in your life.

If I was grading it I’d give it top marks: should be translated and required reading for one and all!