life

Vegan protein banana pancakes

You might have noticed I’m a bit obsessed with pancakes. Tiny bit.

Most recent version was a result of the following:

Watched a video about PCOS. Person in video claimed that if you suffer from PCOS you should count calories for 3 days, because that is knowledge you need. How many cals you consume on a daily basis. My Ed*: Counting calories you say!? We must!

I know this makes no sense. Not only because lousy reason but because:

a) I don’t have PCOS, I have PCO, not the same.
b) Even my PCO status is unclear, currently bleeding approximately every 2 months, highly regular for being me.
c) Nobody needs to count calories ever.

But I’m at a place right now where I’m listening to Ed. I get Lifesum (again) been using (far longer than 3 days).

Lifesum will also show you percentages of carbs, protein and fat.

In general, I strongly believe you don’t need to make special efforts to get protein into your diet if you’re vegan. Who ever heard of anyone dying from protein deficiency around these parts?? Nobody that’s who. It doesn’t happen. Make sure to have some B12 supplements, and iron if you’re struggling with iron uptake, the latter goes for any diet, and you’re good to go!

Despite this, my reaction is 10% protein!? My hair will fall out! Clearly, what I do suffer from is anxiety. And a bad case of unreasonable.

I’m upping my protein like a woman possessed.

Here’s an easy way to pack 20 g of protein into one (vegan) meal:

Find yourself a nice protein powder. My choice: a rice protein, because it doesn’t taste anything. Take 20 g of your protein powder of choice, 30 g flour, 1 tsp baking soda, pinch of salt, 1 banana, 50 g soygurt, if you want a thick batter, if not, use water or any type plant milk instead. Optional: bit of flaxseeds.

You could mix by hand, but I prefer using a blender.

Gives you about 5 small pancakes. And yes, they’re supposed to look like that. I ♥ rustic.

Serve with raspberries sprinkled with a wee bit of ginger, maybe a bit of agave and cinnamon.

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________________
*Ed is a pet name for eating disorder.

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life

When I got my first period

Every once in a while Clue sends out an email asking us for stories relating to our periods. The most recent one asked us to share our stories about our first period.

You needn’t tell me twice! There are few topics I’m more interested in than the menstrual cycle, in general.

Unfortunately this is not going to be a very long story.

I got my first period when I was about ten. I woke up one morning in my favorite panties and there was blood everywhere.

Honestly, what is up with that? Is menstruation is some sort of evil creature that can smell when you’re wearing your favorite underwear and/or when it’s otherwise just really extremely inconvenient? All signs point towards yes.

I would say this is an accurate representation:

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Anyway…

At the age of 10, no one had informed me about menstruation. I had no idea what the hell was going on and was absolutely convinced I was bleeding to death. I remember that finally realizing I had to tell mum I was dying was such as a struggle.

Dear sweet mum. She responded by giving me a book on the subject. Bit of an odd response but OK. Don’t think we talked about it. If we did, I have absolutely no recollection of it. I got the book, pads, few days off school, and that was the end of it.

Looking back though, I am kinda pissed school couldn’t be bothered telling us about it at an early age. As I’ve learned much later, 10 isn’t a particularly abnormal age to have your first period. But oh no, teaching us something that is actually useful, apparently not in the curriculum.

I’m still holding a grudge. And will until that day one of the many things I frequently imagine is killing me finally does.

Years of torture followed, i.e. pads in the 90s, basically small diapers. Which no doubt contributed to the embarrassment I felt the first few years.

Until I finally learned how to use tampons. I ♥ tampons. I even wrote an essay about how it changed my life. I’m sure my male teacher was absolutely thrilled. So yea, once I finally stopped being embarrassed I had literally no boundaries. Have literally no boundaries. I do enjoy telling anyone and everyone where I am in my cycle. Entered the PMS phase a few days ago. SUCH FUN!

I’m giving my period 2 weeks to turn up; I am not having a repeat of the last cycle where I had PMS for an entire month. One month of nightly sweats, feeling unusually weak, tender breasts and constant hunger. Not when I’ve got Provera. Which, admittedly, I’m not supposed to use that way but I just cannot stand it.

I might have to admit defeat and ask to be prescribed Cerazette again, but I’d rather not.

 

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girls only, life, tag

In which I use a nomination to rant about menstruation

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Lovely Lise has nominated me for the Versatile Blogger Award, and you’re all about to regret it.

Rules:

You have to thank the person who nominated you for this award and provide a link to their blog.

Link the nominees and inform them about their nomination.

Nominate at least 15 bloggers of your choice

Share 7 facts about yourself.

Them rules are structured real weirdly. Also, stating some obvious stuff. I don’t approve.

But no matter! I’m going to use this nomination to rant on my favorite topic: menstruation.

  1. I’m currently on day 68 in my cycle. For me, it’s perfectly normal, having PCO and all.
  2. My last cycle was 46 days, and my period was 7 days long. I wasn’t happy about that. I usually get away with 90–120-day-cycles and 3 days of bleeding.
  3. As I’m growing older, my PMS and my periods are basically growing more unpredicable. SUCH FUN.
  4. Currently, I seem to be on week 4 of PMS. Which doesn’t seem to make sense, who has 4 weeks of PMS?? But it’s either that or I’ve got some sort of serious illness. Which I simply do not believe because I’m prone to hypochondria. Also considered if it could be menopause. Can’t find any evidence that it could be.
  5. If science focused on women’s bodies to any extent, I’m sure there’d be some way to tell if this in fact is PMS; I could take my Provera, have my bleeding and be done with it. But because I doubt it just a tiny bit, I don’t want to take hormones unless absolutely necessary (if it is in fact PMS I will be bleeding eventually); I hear hormones are bad for the environment, and also, if it doesn’t work, I’m going to have my period and feel crap on top of that? I don’t think so! So PLEASE if you have a period go use the Clue app so that we can collect some data and figure this shit out.
  6. Main PMS symptom currently bothering me the most: waking up in a pool of my own sweat. Like what the fuck. It COULD be that my building is just well-heated. I mean it is, because I’m never cold when at home and pretty much anywhere else always. At least I’ve figured out that if I open a window before going to bed and leaving it open just a bit throughout the night + put my hair in a high pony I’m fine. At least so far. It is still winter after all. Not sure what will happen once winter is over…
  7. Other fun PMS symptoms: joint and breast ache, throwing fits of rage about just about anything, you know, phone not starting up quickly enough, someone having moved your salt, painkillers not having the desired effect, in addition to feeling as if you’re running a fever, soar throat, having to go to bed at nine to not wake up still feeling exhausted and furious that you have to get up, HUNGER for ALL THE THINGS (is my doctor SURE I haven’t PCOS, like really??), being constantly reminded that you have ovaries because goddammit, I CAN FEEL THEM, that’s not right. It’s not as if I sit around feeling my liver.

There! I’m sure that’s exactly the type of facts the creator of this award had in mind. And my apologies to Lise too. I dare say, I’ve effectively made sure that I will be nominated again.

If you feel like sharing 7 facts about your period, consider yourself nominated! (Rules? What rules??)

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books, girls only

Reading the books; A book about smear tests, menstruation and a bit of cancer

Remember this book?

die ärzte meerschwein annika lantz vad ska en flicka göra

Not the Meerschwein, the normal-sized one, Vad ska en flicka göra? by Annika Lantz.

I’ve finished reading it and I loved it.

This is also a book about cancer, like I kroppen min by Kristian Gidlund, which I mentioned not too long ago. Led to me sort of expecting it to be kind of like Kristian’s book.

Obviously it’s not. In so many ways. This is a different kind of brilliant altogether. Two main differences contributing to the genius of this book:

  • It’s a funny book. Laughing out loud kind of funny. Just ♥♥♥
  • It’s very graphic and describes in detail what happens to the body when you treated for cancer. Horrible and interesting all at once!

I’m not going to lie though, I did struggle a bit at first. The first half of the book is not about her illness at all, it’s about her life as a kid, in general. I’d been told it was about her cancer diagnosis so I was confused. And a bit disappointed. I’m not overly interested in children nor tellings of childhood.

But then she entered puberty and got her period. There’s an entire chapter about menstruation. An entire chapter! On menstruation! Now that’s on my list of interests, right at the very top.

A few of my favorite parts on the subject:

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He squeezed my tender breast and said that it was engorgement. “But she’s sixteen”, mum said, who never struggled with sharing relevant information. “Oh”, the doctor said. “And she’s not breastfeeding, because she hasn’t given birth”, mum said. “Oh”, the doctor said.

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I knew you couldn’t go swimming with a sanitary pad – if for no other reason then that it was the size of a tanker and would sink like a stone the second it started taking in water.

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I’m not going to lie – I didn’t change my sanitary pad. … I usually use a sock these days.

Let’s pause for a minute. Annika has read Liv Strömqvist’s Kunskapens frukt, it’s a graphic novel and I own it. Obviously love it.

However, unlike Annika, I was’t affected by Liv pointing out what a waste of the Earth’s resources sanitary pads are. And how they’re not biodegradable. I don’t even remember this particular part at all.

In my defense, I don’t use sanitary pads but tampons. Which are probably not great either. Really should make sure to get informed on this subject.

See this is another reason I loved this read; it teaches me things and and makes me think. Even though it’s not the point of the book at all. It’s just a happy side-effect.

OK then! Enough side-tracking.

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“But then what is this slime exiting my body attempting to down the neighborhood once a month?”

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… “smear tests are an imprecise instrument” (oh!?!) “they only catch eighty percent.” (OH YOU DON’T SAY!)

…did you know this? I honestly thought smear tests were, well, fool-proof? Maybe I just didn’t read the fine print?

Also. They way she talks about her tumor, it’s brilliant!

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This tumor must be thinking we’re morons the lot of us! How it’s been sitting there giggling while my gynecologist has been directing the ultrasound around my pussy like some sort of conductor.

To avoid confusion, the transducer used for vaginal ultrasound, it ain’t the size of a conductor’s stick. But how I wish it was. One of the many perks of PCO; you get to have a peek at your insides via vaginal ultrasound. Funfunfun! Especially if one of your ovaries is playing hide and seek.

Final words on this book before I manage to get off track again:

If you heard her radio talk back in June, you’ll recognize the topics and large parts of the book. Which is not a bad thing at all. Unlike Kristian, her talk is well worthwhile. Bit like stating the obvious, considering how talking on the radio is her main profession, she should be quite good at it.

She also manages to cover more ground, she goes beyond the cancer, while still managing to give us all the horrible details, by which I’m not saying this is a better book. It’s just different and could well make a difference in your life.

If I was grading it I’d give it top marks: should be translated and required reading for one and all!

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life

I have a lot of questions #1

Should I give the new NIN a chance?

Should I get more shelves for my books? Options: get rid of books, or do some other sort of rearrangement?

Are there really no bands for me to see in 2017??

How do I get out of a dinner at Köttmagasinet (The Meat Storage I guess?) for the head of department next week? WHAT HOW WHY did the other vegan OK this??? Can I lie???

Why is it that ONLY when I’m running dangerously low on tampons I do bleed sans extra hormones? It stopped being funny AGES AGO.

Pea protein – WHY? Does it work with anything??? Least favorite protein powder of ALL TIME.

Travel – skip it this year and prioritize reading?

Minimalist makeup routine – HOW?? I need instructions.

Does a Twilight marathon require wine?

I’ve restarted my computer FOUR TIMES. Why is my home directory still missing??? Moreover, why can’t I save shit from Ladok if it’s missing???

How come not more bands use mailing lists? I’d love emails about when bands are going on tour or putting out a record straight into my inbox. Like Neubauten. They tell me all important things. I’ve signed up for a bunch of other bands. Fat lot of good that’s done.

Related question: how come no gig organizer EVER gets what kind of music I like? Have I ever received a single email about a show I’m actually interested in? NO. And I’ve subscribed and subscribed…

Watched the David Bowie documentary about his last 5 years in life; WHY do they insist on this docu format? A) not a documentary, B) boring people relating boring things. The interview feature, in a studio setting, it’s always a sign of a shit documentary. A L W A Y S. Hör doch damit auf! (My German, it’s so great.)

If I cast Spotify to a TV, why does it not scrobble??

Should I freshen up my hairdye already or hold off a bit longer? Say until I’m doing something?

And people say you stop asking questions as you grow older. It’s simply not true. They’re just of a different nature. And less verbal. Because you already realized ages ago no one has any answers for you; out of evil, ignorance, or plain not fucking caring.

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girls only, life

A post on my favorite topic; Provera + menstruation

Here’s something I google on a fairly regular basis: “effect of Provera”. Or different variations thereof.

For the love of me, I cannot remember what it was like last time, or the time before that, or any specific time for that matter.

Not that it’s always the same. Which I’m thinking is part of the problem. Sometimes it makes me bleed, sometimes it doesn’t. But for the sake of argument let’s say that it does.

What I specifically want to know is at what point in time does Provera make you bleed?

I get zero hits from Google. ZERO. Every time.

So this is to make sure that next time I google “effect of Provera” I’ll up right here.

Should work?

This time, I had been pushing my period back. Because

  1. Discovered my prescription actually says every 4 months (i.e. 3 times a year), not every 3 months, which was what me and Herr Doktor discussed. No matter, fine by me.
  2. This 4 month period was up just as I was heading to Scotland, and it seemed less than convenient, since I have a choice. Judging from the way I feel right now, pushing it back was one of the better ideas I’ve had in my life.

Had planned to push it back further still, because I was going away again, but it slipped my mind/suddenly felt as if I needed to bleed. Combination of confusion an irrationality and there you go.

Also couldn’t remember if it had any premenstrual effects.

There is info on Provera online, you know, the usual, fun side effects and such. Oh. And apparently it’s not vegan. I’m going to have to talk to Herr Doktor about that.

Premenstrual effects

  • FAMISHED up until day 10.
  • Felt as if I was completely drained of energy not only up until the last of my pills (day 12), as well as during period itself.

No mood swings (other than what is normal for me), no tenderness, no acne. Old + PCO; clearly working out for me. Unlike the period itself which is just never what I expect it to be anymore and generally feels exactly like having some sort of infection.

I’m only listing “drained of energy” as an effect because I seem to recall a similar feeling from when I was younger and bleeding on a more regular basis (or as I like to call it on a regularly irregular basis). Jury’s still out, but it seems likely.

Period itself, it starts on day 11. 

In case you’re wondering what this Provera business is; it’s basically hormones that you could be prescribed if you’ve been diagnosed with polycystic ovaries (PCO). It’s used to kickstart your period, because apparently, if you don’t bleed out a few times a year you could get abnormal cell growth in your uterus.

If not for that, I would consider this condition a blessing from the gods.

xo,

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books, life, list, music

Sunday 7

Week started with a few big choices; moving, yes or no? Studying some more, yes or no? I’m going with my favorite answer to the majority of questions: NO. Because I thoroughly enjoy being a negative and bitter old lady. Meanwhile; getting car gets a maybe. Looking into it.

The Amity Affliction released This Could Be Heartbreak on Friday. Found sneak preview of the album on Monday. Managed to listen to it a few times before it was taken down. Boo. They should have left it up, it was excellent advertisement for their Seems Like Forever DVD. Anyway. V.v. catchy record. My fave track is definitely Fight My Regret. Highly recommend giving the record a listen. If for no other reason, so that we can discuss that guitar solo in I Bring the Weather with Me. Is it some sort of…GN’R reference? It just confuses me thoroughly.

So far this year, music has not disappointed me. Quite the opposite. 2017 is going to have a tough time beating this.

Back to work. New office with a new grey desk + black door and I’m a happy camper. + I see this much sky from my window:

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I really don’t ask for much. Best office yet! (Oh God I’ve jinxed it now, haven’t I?) (PS. Blue barracks aren’t going to be there forever, they’re still working on completing this part of the campus.)

Accepted the fact that I can no longer put my makeup on without putting my contacts in first. And even then it’s a struggle to get my eyebrows on straight at ungodly hour in the morning.

As of Tuesday, I’m a Clue Ambassador. 😀 They must have accepted anyone who could bother with filling out the application; but I don’t bloody care. I friggin LOVE Clue. So you know, if you ever feel like talking about menstruation, I’m your gal.

If you don’t know about Clue; it’s a menstruation app you use it to keep track of your cycles. Or in my case; it’s what I use to easily figure out when to take my Provera. If I haven’t bled in approx 90 days I take some Provera to bleed out so that I don’t get abnormal cell growth. Or so my gynecologist tells me.

Visit from sis on Saturday. Went to the stores, bought important things such as much tea, proceeded to drink said tea (one pot each of Irish cream, citrus chai and regular chai; I’m sure you were wondering) while catching up on our fangirl duties, i.e. watched all the videos by the bands on youtube + some Never Mind the Buzzcocks because you cannot be seeing Josh Groban on NMTB too many times.

Been lost in feminist comics all week. Lagging behind on my reading challenge. Oops. Will make sure to get back on track asap. But it’s impossible to resist this reading:

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VISITING AUNT RUTH // There’s so much to do this time of year. I have to send off eighteen cardigans to the church Christmas market. Being in a sewing circle is no easy job. Most people wouldn’t last a day. But I wouldn’t give it up for the world. You see, the sewing circle works as a kind of wall. On the one side: people, including men, kids like you, and morons in general. On the other side: old ladies. Nothing but old ladies! He he he. Did you like the cinnamon rolls? – Yes, thanks aunt Ruth, they were really tasty.

How was your week?

xo,

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