You know how sometimes you watch something on the telly and a song comes on and it’s so pretty and you’ve got literally no idea what it is?
That’s when I wonder how people ever got by without the internet.
I was watching the Kent documentary and this song came on:Young as the morning, old as the sea by Passenger. Which I obviously didn’t know at the time. Because I would not have given it the time of day.
Up until this point I’ve hated Passenger with a passion. Why? I’ve a vague recolleciton of some song they played on the radio I just couldn’t stand, but mainly because to me, Passenger was the name of a project In Flames’s Anders Fridén was involved in. How very dare he steal that name? (Yes no, when it comes to In Flames I make no sense.)
And also. This day and age, don’t you google the name you’re considering before taking it on?
Listing my top albums of the year has never been this easy; they’re three in total:
Thrice; To Be Everywhere Is to Be Nowhere // The Amity Affliction; This Could Be Heartbreak // Architects; All Our Gods Have Abandoned Us
I really did like Nick Cave & the Bad Seeds’ Skeleton Tree, Roddy Hart & the Lonesome Fire’s Swithering is still getting a fair amount of play, In Flames’ Battles was every bit as good as you would expect an In Flames record to be (and that is not bad), and Jonathan Johansson’s Love & Devotion was insanely catchy there is no denying that.
But compared to the above mentioned, they just don’t register.
I’ve already grown tired of fall. It’s unseasonably cold; I am v. v. worried about winter.
Other things I’ve been up to this week:
Listened to the most recent In Flames record thinking I may have just been mistaken thinking I didn’t want to see them live. Again.
Northlane’s Node finally started to make so much sense to me. About time! Current fav track from the record is Rot:
Read Rainbow Rowell’s Landlines; disliked it to a point where I don’t think I’ll be reading any more of her books. Quite disappointed, I really did think we’d get along.
Gave the new Meshuggah a try. It’s still not my cup of tea; no matter what anyone tweets.
..unlike Dream on, Dreamer’s Songs of Solitude.Another band I’m itching to see live, but apparently they insist on touring Europe the same time as everyone else and I’m already booked up and out of vacation. Never mind my financial situation. I daren’t even look at it. Which I quickly forgot and…
Made plans for another gig; I’ve already seen Jonathan Johansson once this year, but apparently that wasn’t enough. ..but also. He’s playing on a Saturday close to where my sister lives; I have literally no excuse not to go. If I needed one.
Proof-read until my eyes bled. Or at least wept. Trying to get the eye makeup to stay on my face was truly a challenge.
Been lusting after Beth Ditto’s hair color, this one:
While I have no concerns what so ever about spamming your feed (Hello, Captain Obvious here, how can I help you?), since October is already well on its way and since I’ve got posts planned for..well most days to be honest, it’s going to be a weekly affair.
Today we’re going through 1–7.
ONE. October goals
I don’t do goals. I am severely uninterested in competition and thusly goals. You have no idea the extent to which the line WE’RE GOING NOWHERE appeals to me. I’m just pure impulse. No, it’s not great. But you know, people don’t change (Nick Cave says, so it must be true); I’ve long since accepted that this is who I am.
Not that I’m not aware I should have goals, I’m sure I should structure my workouts, work on finding a job that doesn’t bore the life out of me, drink less tea, practice mindfulness, just make a goddamn effort in all sorts of areas in order to reach one destination or another…but what’s the fun in that?
Today is Sunday, this is my standard uniform for weekends:
THREE. Story behind my blog name
Weeellll..to paraphrase one of my fave bands when asked about their name; it leaves all doors open. If they wanted to start crooning, they could. I.e., if I wake up tomorrow and feel the urge to croon, I could. Or you know, write about people who croon. It’s just a name with no particular connotations.
…let’s pretend it wasn’t just pure lack of imagination. And lack of goal. Do I have to specify I’ve pretty much no idea what I’m doing? I have no idea what I’m doing. OK. There.
FOUR. Who inspires you
Lots of people inspire me all the time. Because I’m easily distracted and excel at the art of being a fangirl.
Currently, a main inspiration is Roxane Gay. I’ve just read her Bad Feminist and I find her ideas and writing truly inspiring. Almost makes me want to embark on an academic career. Almost. What stops me: knowing that with this type of writing that I do, you’re not meant for academia. Also, kinda think you need to be goal oriented to do academia. ALSO, just spoke to someone doing a licentiate this very week, he wasn’t exactly raving about it.
Getting off track as per usual…
In general, I’m quite inspired by people who dare to be different and who have a bit of a oh fuck it attitude. Oh and bitter and angry feminists in general. They are my heroes, the lot of them.
FIVE. 5 things about you
I have the worst blood circulation; I live in a pretty much constant state of freezing.
I live in fear of people with social skills trying to engage me in conversation. Social morons like myself is fine; I can carry on a conversation with people like that. Mostly. But with people who expect certain things out of a conversation, I’m just going to disappoint, making one and all uncomfortable. They’ve got themselves to blame tho, there is nothing about me that reads open for conversation.
You know when you call some sort of service function and you get to talk to someone who’s positively hostile and you’re left wondering just WTF that person is doing working there? Yeah. Hi. That’s me.
I’m deeply offended by the following assumptions:
That I drink coffee.
That I don’t eat bread (i.e. trying to avoid carbs and for the record NO, I ♥ carbs).
That I like Disturbed. Or Metallica for that matter.
That Pinterest thinks I’m interested in Johnny Depp. I’m sure he’s a lovely fellow, but he’s as irrelevant to me as I am to him, you know? Now give me pics of ppl in metalbands! Or at least Oli Sykes. Please?
That I don’t know In Flames. I ♥ In Flames, OK?
I still dream of having TRez’s shoulder muscles, you know, the ones in the Hurt video. It’s not a goal; is a completely unrealistic dream.
SIX. Thankful Thursday
I find this being thankful thing quite difficult. It’s too positive. I’m not overly fond of positive. I much prefer bitter and negative; shocking right?! You never saw that coming, never heard it before.
Also. Who am I supposed to thank, really?
Let’s just say. At this moment in time, I feel fortunate that I am in a position to lead a fairly comfortable life, that I’m happy with where I’m living, that my work allows me time off at any sort of random time, which enables me to see bands play. I also feel fortunate that I don’t consider the fact that I’m really too old for this type behavior a problem at all.
Again, who am I thanking? The Fates..? I’d be OK with the Fates.
SEVEN. A day in life
GOOD MORNING. Matching my socks with me eye make; giving the terrible shorts another shot at proving themselves. POSITIVE my neighbors are thrilled about my choice of music at this hour, starting the day with some Architects; Alpha Omega.
ON THE BUS. Last few pages of Roxane Gay + The Amity Affliction keeps me company.
BREAKFAST. At work. What a sad affair. But hey, I’ve got raspberries, banana and a cup of good herbal. Listening to Editors.
SLOW START. Trying to get some proofing done. Giving Helios a go. It’s not bad.
STARING AT CREDIT TRANSFER. You want to transfer credits from the course you’re currently taking to well, the course you’re currently taking. YOU CAN’T TRANSFER CREDITS ON THE SAME COURSE. How am I the only person getting that?!!?? Course coordinator already OK:ed the application so now I’m going to have to sort this shit out. Playlist returned to default and is playing me Architects again.
MIXING TEA, WAITING FOR TEXT TO PROOF. First cup of the day (herbal doesn’t count). This corner of my desk, it’s the focal point of my workday. Gawd the exciting life I lead. Playlist has found me some of the Editor’s latest release. Will have to make an effort soon.
LUNCH. What will it be!?! Exciting! Grabbed the last frozen meal I had in my freezer no idea what it is. Fingers crossed it’s not just chickpeas.
Score! Roasted broccoli, pureed aubergine, kidney beans and pasta. Spent rest of lunch hour searching HappyCow for places to eat in Gothenburg.
AFTERNOON. No internet, more tea, message from person with text that it’s not coming after all (editing is taking longer than expected he says, me: really), listening to Balance & Composure, because a certain singer in a certain band just tweeted that they were good. It’s a bit of hit and miss, sometimes he’s spot on sometimes…we just don’t have the same taste at all. This is not bad, but for the time being, I’ve got other preferences.
The afternoon wasn’t completely wasted, found a recipe for bean pesto. Bean pesto! Genius stuff. Not that I’m going to follow a recipe, but I’ll do something similar.
LEFT WORK EARLY. Had taken stock of my knits the night before and decided that I could use a couple more. Threw some money at a store that wasn’t H&M for a change.
BUS HOME. Liv Strömquist’s latest comic book keeping me company. Might have been some more listening to a certain band starting with an A. Starting to feel like a guilty pleasure it is.
FORCED MYSELF TO MAKE DINNER. This week has been impossible. Dinner has been raw veggies + Ryavita all week because cooked meal, who can stand it!? Today my brain was all about the peas. It wanted nothing but peas. Finally convinced it pasta + peas + some asparagus + half an avocado and cabbage roasted in mustard was a good idea. The wine was also quite good.
CLEANING. Was a bit lazy and only cleaned half the apartment while listening to Thrice on loud, lifting weights in between.
WATCHED LAGGIES. And then I was off to bed.
PS. If anyone knows why it’s called Laggies and/or what that means, feel free to inform me. I’m. Confused.
You know when you go to bed and you just know you’re not going to sleep?
Haven’t had that for quite a while now. Until last night. I have to say tho, this no sleep business, seems to get better the older you get. I got a total of just under 3 hours of sleep; I’m not that tired really. I look tired, obvs, and my eyes are in a constant state of weeping (goodbye makeup, goodbye! we’ll miss you!), but other than that, eh, my body seems to just not care at all.
With this in mind, it seems like the perfect time for:
#65 A song you play when you can’t sleep
I don’t know about you but for me, when sleep is just not happening I’ll have music to keep me company; it can’t be used as some sort of sleep aid.
Since no sleep was my normal state up until a few months ago, I complied a playlist; it’s mostly instrumental music, and mostly soundtracks: Robin Finck’s NOCT, Tindersticks’ Trouble Every Day, Yann Tiersen’s Les Retrouvailles, Joe Hisaishi’s Hana-Bi, Philip Glass’ The Hours, a few tracks off of theGentlemen soundtrack by Mattias Bärjed (in love with his piano skills)and the Cirkeln soundtrack.
But also, what I listen to depends why I’m not sleeping. If I’m not sleeping because someone is snoring, In Flames or Architects are a given. Their music is like a wall of sound nothing can penetrate. So if nothing else, it at least manages to decrease annoyance levels.
But that’s not usually why I’m not sleeping.
So let’s go with a track off of the Cirkeln soundtrack; Mountains Crave by Anna von Hausswolff.
Her first couple of releases, Singing form the Grave and Track of Time, I absolutely loved at the time, but with the exception of this track, I don’t get what she’s doing at all anymore.
Patiently waiting for it to start making sense. If I can change my mind about With Teeth, I can change my mind about anything.
I don’t know about you, but for me, what gets me pumped up tends to vary with current taste and mood.
Usually In Flames does it for me. Or Within Temptation. In This Moment’s Whore. Emilie Autumn’s Fight Like a Girl.
But right now, I’m listening back to all of these and I’m just thinking noooo, this does nothing for me.
So we’re going to have to go with a Bring Me the Horizon song. Had I not already mentioned Throne in at least one (possibly more) posts that’d be the one. But since I most definitely have mentioned it, let’s go with True Friends. Which! I feel is appropriate because when they played in Stockholm last time, people were even more into this track than Throne. So right and so wrong all at the same time.
I friggin love this version of the song. The pauses creating more drama. Just ♥♥♥. V.v. excited to see them play again.
Get up really early in the morning, have your alarm besome guy shouting.Mine is currently some guy shouting THIS IS A WAKEUP CALL (because god how witty):
Helps if your walls are thin.
Break your shoes in by wearing them inside. You’ll need hard floors and no carpets though, and probably a proper shoe, i.e. not a trainer or similar.
Start your laundry/dishwasher at seven in the morning. On weekends especially!
Start your mornings by playing a mix of In Flames, Nine Inch Nails, Bring Me the Horizon and go heavy on the Architects. Forget sensible things like Tindersticks and Richard Hawley! I mean you may as well get a head start on your daily dose of Architects, right?
Be up at all hours. Last to bed first up. And do make sure that the last thing you do before heading to bed is watch some live material off of YouTube with crap sound quality.
Actually that’s not that crap; I’ve watched much worse.