In which I use a nomination to rant about menstruation

 

Lovely Lise has nominated me for the Versatile Blogger Award, and you’re all about to regret it.

Rules:

You have to thank the person who nominated you for this award and provide a link to their blog.

Link the nominees and inform them about their nomination.

Nominate at least 15 bloggers of your choice

Share 7 facts about yourself.

Them rules are structured real weirdly. Also, stating some obvious stuff. I don’t approve.

But no matter! I’m going to use this nomination to rant on my favorite topic: menstruation.

  1. I’m currently on day 68 in my cycle. For me, it’s perfectly normal, having PCO and all.
  2. My last cycle was 46 days, and my period was 7 days long. I wasn’t happy about that. I usually get away with 90–120-day-cycles and 3 days of bleeding.
  3. As I’m growing older, my PMS and my periods are basically growing more unpredicable. SUCH FUN.
  4. Currently, I seem to be on week 4 of PMS. Which doesn’t seem to make sense, who has 4 weeks of PMS?? But it’s either that or I’ve got some sort of serious illness. Which I simply do not believe because I’m prone to hypochondria. Also considered if it could be menopause. Can’t find any evidence that it could be.
  5. If science focused on women’s bodies to any extent, I’m sure there’d be some way to tell if this in fact is PMS; I could take my Provera, have my bleeding and be done with it. But because I doubt it just a tiny bit, I don’t want to take hormones unless absolutely necessary (if it is in fact PMS I will be bleeding eventually); I hear hormones are bad for the environment, and also, if it doesn’t work, I’m going to have my period and feel crap on top of that? I don’t think so! So PLEASE if you have a period go use the Clue app so that we can collect some data and figure this shit out.
  6. Main PMS symptom currently bothering me the most: waking up in a pool of my own sweat. Like what the fuck. It COULD be that my building is just well-heated. I mean it is, because I’m never cold when at home and pretty much anywhere else always. At least I’ve figured out that if I open a window before going to bed and leaving it open just a bit throughout the night + put my hair in a high pony I’m fine. At least so far. It is still winter after all. Not sure what will happen once winter is over…
  7. Other fun PMS symptoms: joint and breast ache, throwing fits of rage about just about anything, you know, phone not starting up quickly enough, someone having moved your salt, painkillers not having the desired effect, in addition to feeling as if you’re running a fever, soar throat, having to go to bed at nine to not wake up still feeling exhausted and furious that you have to get up, HUNGER for ALL THE THINGS (is my doctor SURE I haven’t PCOS, like really??), being constantly reminded that you have ovaries because goddammit, I CAN FEEL THEM, that’s not right. It’s not as if I sit around feeling my liver.

There! I’m sure that’s exactly the type of facts the creator of this award had in mind. And my apologies to Lise too. I dare say, I’ve effectively made sure that I will be nominated again.

If you feel like sharing 7 facts about your period, consider yourself nominated! (Rules? What rules??)

Reading the books; A book about smear tests, menstruation and a bit of cancer

Remember this book?

die ärzte meerschwein annika lantz vad ska en flicka göra

Not the Meerschwein, the normal-sized one, Vad ska en flicka göra? by Annika Lantz.

I’ve finished reading it and I loved it.

This is also a book about cancer, like I kroppen min by Kristian Gidlund, which I mentioned not too long ago. Led to me sort of expecting it to be kind of like Kristian’s book.

Obviously it’s not. In so many ways. This is a different kind of brilliant altogether. Two main differences contributing to the genius of this book:

  • It’s a funny book. Laughing out loud kind of funny. Just ♥♥♥
  • It’s very graphic and describes in detail what happens to the body when you treated for cancer. Horrible and interesting all at once!

I’m not going to lie though, I did struggle a bit at first. The first half of the book is not about her illness at all, it’s about her life as a kid, in general. I’d been told it was about her cancer diagnosis so I was confused. And a bit disappointed. I’m not overly interested in children nor tellings of childhood.

But then she entered puberty and got her period. There’s an entire chapter about menstruation. An entire chapter! On menstruation! Now that’s on my list of interests, right at the very top.

A few of my favorite parts on the subject:

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He squeezed my tender breast and said that it was engorgement. “But she’s sixteen”, mum said, who never struggled with sharing relevant information. “Oh”, the doctor said. “And she’s not breastfeeding, because she hasn’t given birth”, mum said. “Oh”, the doctor said.
final1487520565690
I knew you couldn’t go swimming with a sanitary pad – if for no other reason then that it was the size of a tanker and would sink like a stone the second it started taking in water.
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I’m not going to lie – I didn’t change my sanitary pad. … I usually use a sock these days.

Let’s pause for a minute. Annika has read Liv Strömqvist’s Kunskapens frukt, it’s a graphic novel and I own it. Obviously love it.

However, unlike Annika, I was’t affected by Liv pointing out what a waste of the Earth’s resources sanitary pads are. And how they’re not biodegradable. I don’t even remember this particular part at all.

In my defense, I don’t use sanitary pads but tampons. Which are probably not great either. Really should make sure to get informed on this subject.

See this is another reason I loved this read; it teaches me things and and makes me think. Even though it’s not the point of the book at all. It’s just a happy side-effect.

OK then! Enough side-tracking.

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“But then what is this slime exiting my body attempting to down the neighborhood once a month?”
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… “smear tests are an imprecise instrument” (oh!?!) “they only catch eighty percent.” (OH YOU DON’T SAY!)

…did you know this? I honestly thought smear tests were, well, fool-proof? Maybe I just didn’t read the fine print?

Also. They way she talks about her tumor, it’s brilliant!

final1487520795568
This tumor must be thinking we’re morons the lot of us! How it’s been sitting there giggling while my gynecologist has been directing the ultrasound around my pussy like some sort of conductor.

To avoid confusion, the transducer used for vaginal ultrasound, it ain’t the size of a conductor’s stick. But how I wish it was. One of the many perks of PCO; you get to have a peek at your insides via vaginal ultrasound. Funfunfun! Especially if one of your ovaries is playing hide and seek.

Final words on this book before I manage to get off track again:

If you heard her radio talk back in June, you’ll recognize the topics and large parts of the book. Which is not a bad thing at all. Unlike Kristian, her talk is well worthwhile. Bit like stating the obvious, considering how talking on the radio is her main profession, she should be quite good at it.

She also manages to cover more ground, she goes beyond the cancer, while still managing to give us all the horrible details, by which I’m not saying this is a better book. It’s just different and could well make a difference in your life.

If I was grading it I’d give it top marks: should be translated and required reading for one and all!

A post on my favorite topic; Provera + menstruation

Here’s something I google on a fairly regular basis: “effect of Provera”. Or different variations thereof.

For the love of me, I cannot remember what it was like last time, or the time before that, or any specific time for that matter.

Not that it’s always the same. Which I’m thinking is part of the problem. Sometimes it makes me bleed, sometimes it doesn’t. But for the sake of argument let’s say that it does.

What I specifically want to know is at what point in time does Provera make you bleed?

I get zero hits from Google. ZERO. Every time.

So this is to make sure that next time I google “effect of Provera” I’ll up right here.

Should work?

This time, I had been pushing my period back. Because

  1. Discovered my prescription actually says every 4 months (i.e. 3 times a year), not every 3 months, which was what me and Herr Doktor discussed. No matter, fine by me.
  2. This 4 month period was up just as I was heading to Scotland, and it seemed less than convenient, since I have a choice. Judging from the way I feel right now, pushing it back was one of the better ideas I’ve had in my life.

Had planned to push it back further still, because I was going away again, but it slipped my mind/suddenly felt as if I needed to bleed. Combination of confusion an irrationality and there you go.

Also couldn’t remember if it had any premenstrual effects.

There is info on Provera online, you know, the usual, fun side effects and such. Oh. And apparently it’s not vegan. I’m going to have to talk to Herr Doktor about that.

Premenstrual effects

  • FAMISHED up until day 10.
  • Felt as if I was completely drained of energy not only up until the last of my pills (day 12), as well as during period itself.

No mood swings (other than what is normal for me), no tenderness, no acne. Old + PCO; clearly working out for me. Unlike the period itself which is just never what I expect it to be anymore and generally feels exactly like having some sort of infection.

I’m only listing “drained of energy” as an effect because I seem to recall a similar feeling from when I was younger and bleeding on a more regular basis (or as I like to call it on a regularly irregular basis). Jury’s still out, but it seems likely.

Period itself, it starts on day 11. 

In case you’re wondering what this Provera business is; it’s basically hormones that you could be prescribed if you’ve been diagnosed with polycystic ovaries (PCO). It’s used to kickstart your period, because apparently, if you don’t bleed out a few times a year you could get abnormal cell growth in your uterus.

If not for that, I would consider this condition a blessing from the gods.

xo,

signatur 1

On the subject on menstruation

Just before I stopped menstruating, indefinitely, years ago now, I bought a 100-pack of tampons. Which I’d never done before. Didn’t bleed again for years. On account of having PCO. Apparently.

Finally got around to throwing them away, the doctor gets me Provera and I start bleeding again.

So I bulk up on tampons.

Aaand, Provera fails to make me bleed. Obviously. I get Cerazette instead; you don’t bleed on Cerazette. I throw away my tampons.

Doctor recommends I go back on Provera. Start bleeding almost like a normal person. By which I mean I had irregular periods for maybe 6 months? Without taking hormones that is. I’ve yet again ended up with a bunch of tampons. Not on purpose, I was away, started bleeding, had no tampons, had to buy a bunch, and I had a bunch at home too.

Yes. I’m now on day 101 of no bleeding. Bathroom cabinet full of tampons. But I’m on to you this time! I am keeping ALL OF my tampons. Because that is apparently how this works.

Love,

signatur 1

PS. I find it hilarious that Clue is ever the optimist. Just guess for how long it’s been saying next cycle starts tomorrow. I don’t blame it, how could it possibly know? I love the app either way. I don’t need to know when my cycle starts, I just need to keep track of when I last bled.