life, music

How to get out of a music slump. Or not.

My music stats have been appalling lately. Appalling as in I’ve barely listened to music at all.

Well, by comparison. 1 day 11 hours total for last week; in the words of Dustin, it’s not enough.

There is a reason though. I’m not as excited about music as I have been. I know there’s a pattern, I’ve been around for a long time, I’ve observed it. I’ll have periods where I listen to music basically 24 hours a day (sleeping is a waste of precious time that could be spent listening to NIN!), and then there are periods where I can barely stand music at all and I’ll prefer to listen to people talking (radio, TV), maybe I can stand a wee bit of Iain Morrison but that’s it.

I’m trying to coax myself back into the part of the cycle I prefer, the listening to lots part, by listening to a lot of old faves.

For example:

The Mission; Never Again. How can you not love The Mission? Even with that horrendous art work that passes for the cover of the album Masque.

Depeche Mode; Stripped. Usually everyone’s favorite, which I’m only just starting to get. Not that it was ever bad, I just wasn’t obsessed. Before.

John Cale; Darling I need you. From the Fragments of a Rainy Season record, which, by the way, is finally available on Spotify! If there is one John Cale record you need in your life, this is the one. It’s basically Cale playing all of his best songs on the piano. Now if that hasn’t got you sold I don’t know what will.

Still wondering WHY he’s spent most of his career doing, well, not this.

Nine Inch Nails; Sin. A live version I can’t get enough of.

Recoil; Jezebel. Recoil’s Liquid is such an underrated album. It includes 5 of my all-time favorite tracks.

HIM; Killing Loneliness. You know how I love pop metal.

LOTS of Within Temptation. Part of me thinks this is one ridiculous band, but the music they make, it’s a 100% match for me. Go-to for workouts. If I did workouts. Obvs I don’t. I just lay around on my couch all day. Snack on things high in sugar and fat.

Sinéad is a fave:

And yes, in terms of my feminist challenge this playlist (not only this excerpt) is pretty much a complete failure.

I have no excuses. Except for all other culture I consume is by and about women. Doesn’t that count?? (No it doesn’t.)


There is not a chance in hell this strategy is going to work. In fact, I predict it will get worse still before it gets better. Because that is the pattern. One can only wait.

I hate waiting.


Why I stopped being vegan

I love YouTube. It frequently makes me feel Oh good, it’s not just me!

Which is a main reason why I keep watching Why I stopped beaing vegan videos, because been there, done that.

I love Why I stopped being vegan videos. It’s just a long list of poor and uninformed excuses to start eating meat again, which makes me feel confident that going back to a vegan diet was the right choice.

I’m not blaming them by any means! As mentioned, I did that too once (except for I never went meat-eater, I went pescetarian.) Being vegan is breaking a habit and it’s hard, especially is you don’t have many vegans in your immediate environment.

There was one girl I watched (why would anyone watch anything but girls on YouTube?) who had a reason that was almost convincing. Binge eater, felt restricted on a vegan diet, stopped. I get it. But I also think she should give it another go. There are lots and lots of things you can eat as a vegan! You just need to get into the habit, which I admit will take time, just don’t give up! Erm, right…

Coincidentally stumbled on another binge eater who stopped being vegan. Unfortunately unaware of her ED, unfortunately presented probably the worst excuse I’ve heard so far. Basically, she decided that vegans are all spreading lies, the majority of animals are treated well at farms, and so it’s OK to eat.

Right. Yes. Vegans, they make much money on spreading misinformation about conditions on farms (???). Whereas the farmers…don’t?

Also. Could someone please explain to me how it’s OK to eat an animal because it’s had a good life. I mean does this apply to humans too? Any human killed who’s had a good life, it’s OK? Oh no dear, this is no tragedy, the children killed in the accident all had a good life.

This girl had another brilliant reason. Namely, a low iron value. Which she explained while having her protein powder.


So you’re telling me you know about protein powder but not iron supplements? PS. HI, I also struggle with iron absorption, yes also genetic, my mum + sis have it too. And they’re omnivores. Not to mention, last time I had my iron checked I was on a vegan diet, not taking -any- supplements and my iron value was just fine – better than when I was having dairy and fish mind you! My guess: if your iron is low it’s because you’re starving. I. Should. Know.

I do wonder tho. If you have a fitness channel, which I understand as a keen interest in health, should you not be aware of the research pointing to the benefits of a vegan diet not to mention the fact that you are suffering from an eating disorder? I’m just. Confused.

OK, I lie, I’m kinda upset. I was staring at this video in disblief for all of the 15 minutes it lasted. How does this channel have hundres of thousands of subscribers? Are people that uncritical? Or they subscribe in spite of?

At the same time…I take comfort in knowing that people don’t always make the most informed decisions. Who can’t relate to that?? There are so many choices to be made, you will be making a bunch of them on a whim. Which is fine, but arguing that in fact was not on a whim, now that just seems daft.

Speaking of research and vegan; did also stumble on a channel that a. frequently referred to research and b. claimed that there is now research pointing to being vegan is the best for PCO. So you know, good news for me!

If we’re being honest, there are so many reasons to be vegan. So. Many. It’s really just a matter of finding the one that will convince you. For me, it’s not the maltreatment of animals, I mean partly, but it’s not the main one, it’s also no the waste of resources – what do I care if mankind dies? It’s the  paying people to kill animals I have a problem with. The actual giving of the money. Such awful behaviour should not be enouraged.

And clearly, I’m also a cheap bastard.

That and I was brainwashed. Repeatedly watching people making vegan food going nomnom! I’m a simple kind of person.

challenge, music

100 day song challenge #98

#98 A song by one of your favorite bands (#2)

Ah yes. Having decide this for me was not a bad idea at all.

You should be able to guess the band.

Obviously it’s Bring Me the Horizon.

I’m going to pick a song off of There is a hell believe me I’ve seen it. There is a heaven let’s keep it a secret, because I just feel it’s not getting enough attention. By which I mean, how are they not playing a single track off of this release this tour?

A bit of Alligator Blood never hurt no one?


I have a lot of questions #3

Why do I always make at least ONE spelling mistake in each post? I read through most posts more than once. I swear I know how to spell too! Someone pls explain.

Why is it that I can’t have PB in the house without wolfing the entire jar down in a day? More importantly, can I learn how not to?? I ♥ PB.

Who gave mathematics permission to disregard any and all grammar rules?? I want the permission revoked immediately!

Why can’t Catherine de’ Medici and Mary Queen of Scots do more scheming?? It was the best part of this series. The. Best.

How do I make Pinterest stop showing me school-related pins?? I’m unfollowing and unliking like a crazy person THEY KEEP COMING BACK!!

Similarly, I don’t want this crap in my Pinterest feed, but more importantly, could Lifehack maybe consider hiring a native speaker to proof-read??? One example out of a zillion similar in my feed:

English is obvs. not my native tongue, but even I can tell this is just wrong.

Why do people keep using ` and/or ´ when they really mean ‘ ??? Can you honestly say you can’t tell the difference?? Or do you struggle to find the right key? I’d really like to know if I’m supposed to be handing out a map or explanation.

Why is iTunes? Yes you read that right! Why. Is. Just why is??

Why is the Admissions Office calling me with questions about entry requirements? Isn’t that their specialty??

WHY did I leave the shower doors in the attic? WHY didn’t I just get rid of them when I had my bathroom redone? WHY? (Oh yeah, I wasn’t going to move EVER.)

Is there any way I can have a cat? Or two? I miss having a cat so much.

When this guy has had enough of us and this world, just what the hell are we going to do?? We need a backup!


Why is it I still haven’t learned that a new cat will always be a different cat, not the same??

Why is the use of cuticle cream such a difficult habit to acquire?

When is the release of Robyn’s Honey, when???


Things to do on a Sunday #8

When you wake up at what can only be described as an ungodly hour for a Sunday (a.k.a. same time you wake up for work), get dressed, lace up your shoes and head out for a walk.

I know I know, it’s going to be cold, but give it a couple of minutes and you’ll be happy it’s not warmer out.

! Before heading out, make sure you’ve got two things available on your listening device of choice:

  1. A good podcast. Penntricket is an obvious choice, but if, like me, you’ve already listened to all of the episodes, an interview with a random woman with a pleasant voice talking about life will do. Such as Amanda Ooms. Who will put you right in the mood for…
  2. Einstürzende Neubauten’s Alles wieder offen.

Enjoy having the streets all to yourself (give or take one or two people and their dogs).

Time your walk so that when the podcasts ends you can swing by the store and get some fresh strawberries. Listen to Alles wieder offen on your way back home.

If I had to chose between mornings and nights, I’d pick mornings every time.


When I got my first period

Every once in a while Clue sends out an email asking us for stories relating to our periods. The most recent one asked us to share our stories about our first period.

You needn’t tell me twice! There are few topics I’m more interested in than the menstrual cycle, in general.

Unfortunately this is not going to be a very long story.

I got my first period when I was about ten. I woke up one morning in my favorite panties and there was blood everywhere.

Honestly, what is up with that? Is menstruation is some sort of evil creature that can smell when you’re wearing your favorite underwear and/or when it’s otherwise just really extremely inconvenient? All signs point towards yes.

I would say this is an accurate representation:



At the age of 10, no one had informed me about menstruation. I had no idea what the hell was going on and was absolutely convinced I was bleeding to death. I remember that finally realizing I had to tell mum I was dying was such as a struggle.

Dear sweet mum. She responded by giving me a book on the subject. Bit of an odd response but OK. Don’t think we talked about it. If we did, I have absolutely no recollection of it. I got the book, pads, few days off school, and that was the end of it.

Looking back though, I am kinda pissed school couldn’t be bothered telling us about it at an early age. As I’ve learned much later, 10 isn’t a particularly abnormal age to have your first period. But oh no, teaching us something that is actually useful, apparently not in the curriculum.

I’m still holding a grudge. And will until that day one of the many things I frequently imagine is killing me finally does.

Years of torture followed, i.e. pads in the 90s, basically small diapers. Which no doubt contributed to the embarrassment I felt the first few years.

Until I finally learned how to use tampons. I ♥ tampons. I even wrote an essay about how it changed my life. I’m sure my male teacher was absolutely thrilled. So yea, once I finally stopped being embarrassed I had literally no boundaries. Have literally no boundaries. I do enjoy telling anyone and everyone where I am in my cycle. Entered the PMS phase a few days ago. SUCH FUN!

I’m giving my period 2 weeks to turn up; I am not having a repeat of the last cycle where I had PMS for an entire month. One month of nightly sweats, feeling unusually weak, tender breasts and constant hunger. Not when I’ve got Provera. Which, admittedly, I’m not supposed to use that way but I just cannot stand it.

I might have to admit defeat and ask to be prescribed Cerazette again, but I’d rather not.