Another reason I should not be allowed straighteners

I am 95% sure I am burning down my house as we speak. Reasons:

Thought to myself last night, should straighten my hair now because that way I won’t have to worry about forgetting to turn off the straightener when I leave the house. But I was too tired. It couldn’t be done. BTW. I go to bed at just after nine these days, that’s what the commuting has finally done to me. And I had to think about if I needed to move???

I’ve been distracted lately. Last night I spent a good half an hour looking for my phone to finally realize I’d left it in the car. That pretty much never happens. Did it once before. ONCE.

It is true that I frequently worry that I didn’t turn the straightener off. I’ve been out the door and had to turn around to go back and check. Never once has it been on.

Which is the main reason I didn’t turn back today. I was already in my car well on the way to work and it’s never on. It. Is. Never. On.

But. I didn’t do my usual routine. Because my head is a mess. I wasn’t doing things in order. So I’m not sure. I can’t remember if I turned it off. But then I never can.

I do remember this: I did think it’s not a good straightener. Which is why it’d be ironic if I burned down the house when I worried that I couldn’t possibly have left it on, when it’s not even a good straightener, and the final nail in the coffin, when I’ve typed out this post in an attempt to convince myself it’s not on. Becuase that is exactly how my life works.

Will I spend rest of day thinking about how I can escape work without anyone noticing? Yes, yes, yes. Will I manage to do so? No, no NO.

I’ll be keeping my phone nearby though. I’m expecting a call from the fire department aaaany minute now.

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