challenge, music

100 day song challenge #86

#86 A song over 6 minutes long

I’m throwing myself at the first song I like that is over 6 minutes long and not Memento Mori. There was always a definite risk this was going to end up being. That. Song. And I’m sure your Architects quota was met aaages ago.

And I do listen to other things. Really. I do.

Editors! Marching Orders! I listen to it, lots. Whaddayathink?

xo,

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girls only, life

A post on my favorite topic; Provera + menstruation

Here’s something I google on a fairly regular basis: “effect of Provera”. Or different variations thereof.

For the love of me, I cannot remember what it was like last time, or the time before that, or any specific time for that matter.

Not that it’s always the same. Which I’m thinking is part of the problem. Sometimes it makes me bleed, sometimes it doesn’t. But for the sake of argument let’s say that it does.

What I specifically want to know is at what point in time does Provera make you bleed?

I get zero hits from Google. ZERO. Every time.

So this is to make sure that next time I google “effect of Provera” I’ll up right here.

Should work?

This time, I had been pushing my period back. Because

  1. Discovered my prescription actually says every 4 months (i.e. 3 times a year), not every 3 months, which was what me and Herr Doktor discussed. No matter, fine by me.
  2. This 4 month period was up just as I was heading to Scotland, and it seemed less than convenient, since I have a choice. Judging from the way I feel right now, pushing it back was one of the better ideas I’ve had in my life.

Had planned to push it back further still, because I was going away again, but it slipped my mind/suddenly felt as if I needed to bleed. Combination of confusion an irrationality and there you go.

Also couldn’t remember if it had any premenstrual effects.

There is info on Provera online, you know, the usual, fun side effects and such. Oh. And apparently it’s not vegan. I’m going to have to talk to Herr Doktor about that.

Premenstrual effects

  • FAMISHED up until day 10.
  • Felt as if I was completely drained of energy not only up until the last of my pills (day 12), as well as during period itself.

No mood swings (other than what is normal for me), no tenderness, no acne. Old + PCO; clearly working out for me. Unlike the period itself which is just never what I expect it to be anymore and generally feels exactly like having some sort of infection.

I’m only listing “drained of energy” as an effect because I seem to recall a similar feeling from when I was younger and bleeding on a more regular basis (or as I like to call it on a regularly irregular basis). Jury’s still out, but it seems likely.

Period itself, it starts on day 11. 

In case you’re wondering what this Provera business is; it’s basically hormones that you could be prescribed if you’ve been diagnosed with polycystic ovaries (PCO). It’s used to kickstart your period, because apparently, if you don’t bleed out a few times a year you could get abnormal cell growth in your uterus.

If not for that, I would consider this condition a blessing from the gods.

xo,

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challenge, music

100 day song challenge #44

#44 A song with “E” as the first letter of the title

I don’t think I’ve done a Glasvegas track yet, have I?

That’s simply not right because Glasvegas is one of my all-time favorite bands. To no small part because James sings in Glaswegian.

While patiently waiting for their next release, listening to Euphoria, take my hand is not a bad way to spend your time.

Lots of love!

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glasgow lighthouse
face paint, life, outfit, travel

I ❤ Glasgow 

Because I can buy bits like

Nakd bars from Holland & Barrett’s for cheap + decent chai from random supermarket; you have no idea how I’ve been looking for a decent chai all over Sweden – impossible. This Tesco one tho; does the job perfectly. Nothing fancy, everyday chai ♥♥♥.

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…I’m going to have start ordering the Nakd bars from online. It’s so perfect for traveling, and let’s face it, this could replace other types sweets easy peasy.

Makeup + beauty from Superdrug and Boots.

I’m obsessed with Superdrug’s cleansing wipes for combination skin, which is a problem. I need to find good wipes I can get from somewhere in this country.

The Boots’ tea tree & witch hazel facial wash is a new find; they were all out of Superdrug’s facial wash for combination skin, again, but this facial wash! It’s better still. My skin tends to be a bit uneven, and I’ve come to accept it as a fact. But this facial wash, I swear it evens out my skin. And the Soap & Glory shower gel; ach, I just wish I hadn’t packed so much I could have gotten a normal-sized bottle. It brags you don’t need lotion afterwards and I truly believe it.

Also got a new GOSH primer because my current one (No7) is a bit meh; my foundation brush finally broke down so I’m trying out the Real Techniques sponge, so far loving it, and if the Beautyblender is better still than this one, I get why people are so obsessed with it; new No7 foundation, a radiance one this time because I heard such good things about it. With any luck it’ll manage to make me look just a little bit sicker still.

Cute things from Primark; PJs, pink knit, metallic chokers, MTV sweatshirt, and of course, big, chunky, pink knit + fuzzy socks.

 

That’s appropriate night time wear for a 35-year-old I dare say. Should also be noted: bought the pink knit in the biggest size I could find, i.e. about 4-5 sizes bigger than what I usually wear, this doesn’t mean it’s long enough to be worn as a dress, as I discovered on the bus to work…

Trashy hoodie + lots of earrings from Top Shop.

I am in love with this trashy trend, did the same trick as with the pink knit. Sis says it’s also too short to be worn as a dress. I’m disagreeing, wore it as dress to the BMTH gig, maybe I will again? As in, I’m seeing them again on Saturday. Stockholm this time.

Also love that dark metal color the majority of the studs are in. Top Shop seems to be under the impression it’s dark gold. Okeeyy.. in my mind they’re a bit too much on the red side to be described as gold, but w/e.

More Mackintosh souvenirs.

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Ah yes, museum gift shops in Glasgow, they just draw me in.

Backpack from Urban Outfitters.

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Because the carry on I brought was just so tiny, I literally had to get a new bag to get all my things home (this here, just a sample, there was more stuff). But also, I needed a bigger backpack in my life, so quite pleased with this purchase.

Note to self: go on shopping diet.

xo,

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life

Let’s talk about dieting

The other day I was roaming around YouTube and suddenly stumbled on an old TEDTalks with the title Why dieting usually doesn’t work.

V.v. interesting! Clickety click!

And I am in love. Sandra Aamot, the speaker, she had me at started to eat mindfully.

Eating mindfully is essentially the same as intuitive eating, and as you may have gathered, I’m a fan. On most days.

Some days I fall into old habits, thinking this intuitive eating isn’t working because I’m “overeating”. For some people, like Sandra, eating mindfully leads to weight loss. Some. Not all. I’m thinking people under or of average weight probably won’t lose weight.

There’s at the very least 3 problems here:

  1. I still want to lose weight. Not as actively as before, but the idea is still there.
  2. If we’re being honest, I’m calling eating until satisfied overeating.
  3. A part of me still believes intuitive eating is eating the same amount of food as when I was counting calories like a woman possessed and managed to shrink myself down to a size smaller than when I was 12. Yes. Seems incredibly likely that’s a size I’m supposed to be at age 35.

Letting go of project thin is a struggle.

More annoyingly, I don’t understand why it’s such a struggle. Being thin isn’t a trait I admire. I am thoroughly bored with it. Not to mention diets. When peole start harping on about diets and losing weight in the lunch room I leave.

Logical conclusion: I’m clearly only interested in my own personal suffering.

This is exactly why you need input from people like Sandra! To set you straight. Er. Well. If you’re anything like me anyway.

Not only is she a proper scientist, but she’s got experience that definitely rivals my own. She managed to get in 3 decades of diets, and, listen to this: the weight kept coming back. Heard that one before? Clearly, not even neuroscientists, i.e. well-read and educated people, are immune to diet propaganda. On the one hand, thank god it’s not just me who’s stupid, on the other, dear oh dear, no one is safe.

So, she decided to find out why diets don’t usually work. Strikes me as the right person for the job.

What I particularly enjoy about Sandra’s talk is the angle; she’s coming at it from a brain point of view. Let’s just pause for a minute and appreciate this. We’re not going to talk about the food, but the brain.

According to Sandra, diets don’t work because hunger and energy use is controlled by the brain. What this means is that the brain has randomly decided that a certain weight is your weight; Sandra calls this your set point. Which seems to be the same thing as what some like to call your default weight. Also commonly referred to as a range, which is a point Sandra makes too.

To stay outside this range is v. v. difficult because your brain wants to keep you stable, within the range. It responds to weight loss by trying to get you back to what it considers is normal. Unfortunately, the brain can’t tell if you need to lose weight. (Not that most people actually going on diets need to lose weight, they just want it, a whole different problem.) It can, however, tell if you’ve been starving – and if you’ve been starving it will respond by making you burn less calories. So two people with the same weight could have different energy use. Meaning, if you’ve ever dieted; congratu-well-done you’ve fucked up your metabolism and will forever be doomed to enjoying less of the foods.

OK, I might be making up the forever part. Desperately hoping it’s not forever.

More bad news: set points can go up, but they rarely go down. Dieting doesn’t change your set point, even if you’ve been skinny for years and years. I.e., your brain will keep working against project lose weight.

And it doesn’t stop there; starting a diet in early teens makes it more likely to become overweight later in life. And, surprise surprise, develop an eating disorder. This, in addition to, what I’m sure we’ve all heard: most people who diet will gain it back (and then some). Diet = more likely to gain weight. Remember that! Excellent point Sandra makes: if diets worked we’d all be thin already.

Instead, what we need is mindfulness. Eat when you’re hungry and stop when you’re full. Work out what makes your body feels good. Took about a year to learn for Sandra. Which I consider both good and bad news, there’s still hope for me, but it could be there’s months and friggin months to go. But like Sandra, I do currently feel way more relaxed around food than I have in pretty much forever, and it is not a bad feeling.

Not that I don’t still, for example, fall into the habit of trying to work out the number of calories in food, but it’s definitely becoming less and less frequent.

None of this is really new information. The talk is from 2014 for one thing, and I’ve heard most of what she mentions before, the problem is some major points (e.g. diets don’t work) have yet to become popular, i.e. spread by media.

For one thing. Right after having watched this talk, I watched the brand new season of the Swedish You Are What You Eat. That fact that it even exists says something. The fact that I even consider watching it also says something. I hardly need to explain why it’s just not good.

But at least! I was thoroughly annoyed throughout watching it. Because, as the title indicates, they clearly are not up to date with the latest research. I also realized that anyone ever going on a diet, it makes me kind of sad.

I’m taking that as a good sign.

There is an important point missing tho, my favorite point, a change in policy is needed. (Ah yes, I have such faith in The State.) We have huge environmental problems because of overproduction, evidence suggests food is especially responsible. This same surplus of food is inevitably leading to some of us being quite miserable. This is logic rivalling that of an eating disorder. Clearly, someone with overview of the situation needs to come in and take charge. And no, I don’t think we should have the freedom of choice here, people aren’t logical creatures, especially when it comes to food.

(Should I mention Go vegan! No? Well you should.)

To sum up, I just wanted to say; good news! Science says we can use our minds and focus for other things than diets, since they are useless!

I dunno about you but that always makes me kind of happy.

Also, newer talk on a related topic that I thought was just all sorts of brilliant:

Give it a watch!

xo,

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face paint

Makeup of the day; Black lips

Did I mention I finally got my hands on the NYX Alien while in Glasgow? Well I did. Obviously. Because Glasgow, it just doesn’t fail you.

I’ve been putting off wearing it; it’s not practical for work and trying it out I noticed the application is kind of tricky. It easily becomes a mess. But lo and behold! At six in the morning I pull this off. Pretty pleased with myself!

I’ve a few shades of this NYX lip product, the Liquid Suede; there are slight differences between the shades. This one I’m actually particularly impressed with; there’s barely any transfer, if I could just stop having my endless cups of tea I could go all day, including eating, and never top up. When using some of them, a second layer is necessary, not so with this one. Although, to be fair, I do sometimes apply two layers to be on the safe side.

I didn’t think this would be an everyday sort of product, but from wearing it today, I’m going to say that it may just be. I feel surprisingly comfortable in it. Not so sure I’ve combined it with the right type eye make, but never mind! I’m so pleased with this blackness I don’t even care.

And yes. I did also get a color enhancer at Superdrug, making my hair proper red for a minute. So. Getting a semi-permanent color and then using a color enhancer on top just a few weeks later, that’s probably a good idea if you’re already struggling with damaged hair? And was avoiding permanent color for that reason. I excel at making sense.

Lots of love!

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