Having options, that’s supposed to be something good, right?
I fucking hate having choices. Options. Many things to choose between. Admittedly, I am a terribly indecisive person. Not always, but..quite frequently. And this is why I love the idea of a strong state; fewer choices to be made.
Anyway. This isn’t going to be political. At all.
Indecision, for me, leads to basing choices on completely random things. My favorite example: when I bought speakers for my stereo I decided to get a pair of speakers from a brand called Mission. Because at the time I was a massive fan of the band The Mission – well, I still am, I’m just not as obsessed as back then. There is no connection between the band and the brand. Far as I know.
Luckily for me, not a bad choice. It’s been 15 years, still working as good as ever. And they’re a handsome pair too. So you know, fully functional way of making choices.
Last year, in a desperate attempt to avoid having to make the choice as to whether or not to move I said to the universe in general If I’m offered this flat, I’ll take that as a sign and move.
Yes well, that flat was unexpectedly offered to me this morning. So I should be happy right? I’m not making a choice and I get a brand new flat.
I get a brand new flat that’s white. I get a brand new flat that does not have an induction cooker. I get a brand new flat that’s smaller than what I currently live in. I get a brand new flat that’s about twice as expensive as the flat I’m currently living in.
Oh sure, the location is brilliant; it’s right smack in the middle of the city, in the harbor in fact, and it’s walking distance to where I work. Plus, walking distance to my favorite gym (OK, stretching it a bit, it’s more like walking distance between gym and work, but eh, good enough). It’s also closer to my family, which at times makes life a little easier. In addition, moving city would facilitate any type traveling.
I’m not sure I trust the universe’s judgement.
Let’s review my options:
The cheapest option. Stay put, enjoy the darkness that is my current home, take the bus and waste a minimum of 2 hours commuting to work every single day.
In hindsight it was a mistake to tailor my flat to me specifically, because a) Who’s gonna buy this darkness off of me? My taste is so not on trend. b) I’m attached to all of my things. ALL. I don’t want to leave my black refrigerator, my induction cooker, my closets, my bedroom wallpaper. I might be persuaded to leave my hallway floor, but then that wasn’t my choice, it’s one of few things I didn’t change when I moved in. Because I couldn’t be bothered, basically. It is horrible though.
The more expensive option. Stay put, buy car. I was all prepared to do this, until I realized that in addition to insurance, taxes, gas, parking – I’ll also have to pay for parking at work. That was just one cost too many. Maybe. There are definitely times I could use a car.
The most expensive option. Take the flat and waste less time commuting and remain without the hassle that is a car.
The option of unknown cost. Find a house to buy, get a couple of cats, live happily ever after. In your house. Where you can’t fix a thing to save your life. And will probably need to buy a car because any house I can afford is bound to be far, far away from where I work.
I do feel like a spoiled brat for complaining about this. Because I have options. Some people don’t. Not that knowing this makes it any easier. Universe also not helping much.
Easy way out: I’m clearly not sold on this flat; if I was, the choice would be easy. That should be a sign that this is not the time for me to move. Heart over head?
Heart and signs, my two favorite things to go by when making choices. What’s yours?